Breakdown 10-7-20
{{Sunday, September 27th
Kenner}}
“Bree, I really don't think me wearing this is really necessary, it's just-”
“Shut it and put the shrug on. You want my help, right?”
“Yes, although right now I'm wondering why.”
I make a face. “Cute. But, if you want it, then you're going to it my way. And women just don't wear pants or bare arms in church. Besides, that dress looks fabulous!”
Sienna is wearing a cream wrap dress, with a matching shrug I let her borrow since the dress is sleeveless. It's hers, one of the clothing items Xiomara brought Sienna from home. It also goes past her knees which makes it acceptable. Me? I'm wearing a pale blue A-line skirt with a white silk button up top, 3/4 sleeves. I watch Sienna reluctantly put the shrug on. I smile.
“There, you look amazing.”
She turns to my full length mirror that's on the inside of my closet door. She looks herself up and down, and nods. “Yes, I suppose this isn't terrible.” She smirks. She likes it and doesn't want to admit it.
“Great. Ready?”
“No. But let's go anyway.”
We get to my church, Divine Mercy, in a few minutes. It's only about a mile or so from my house. I lead Sienna to the pew I normally sit in, towards the back. It's a thing I've been doing since I started coming to church again a few years ago. Sit away from everyone else, wear minimal makeup, to avoid recognition. I had Sienna do the same with her face, I was surprised she didn't protest that as well as the dress. Anyway, I get a few smiles and waves from people I see every week, and one man did a double take, I think he recognized Sienna. She waved at him and he walked past quickly.
After the opening, Father Robert does the scripture readings. I don't think Sienna picked up on what today's homily would be about based on those, but I did. And I am already uncomfortable. The one that makes me that way is James 4:17 - “So whoever knows the right thing to do and fails to do it, for him it is sin.” My problem with that is, how do you know what is the right thing?
Father Robert then begins his message. He starts off just as I suspected based on the readings, talking about personal responsibility.
“It can be hard in life to determine those things which God wants us to figure out and handle ourselves, and those things which He wants us to leave to His hands. But if we look at His Word, we can apply His direction to our lives and act accordingly. All we have to do is accept that we are helpless alone, seek His guidance, and He is there.
This does not absolve us from responsibility. If you ask God for help finding a job, He will help you. But you have to look. If you ask God for help in your relationship, He will help you, but you have to communicate with your partner. The phrase “God helps those who help themselves” is often interpreted backwards. God does not see us and our efforts and deem us worthy of His assistance. We must seek Him first, then put in the work.”
I nod, understanding. I glance at Sienna and she has this skeptical look on her face.
“Now then, what does that mean for helping us to determine what we should put effort into, and what we should leave to God's hands? There is scripture for that. Romans 12:19 says, “Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.”
The people respond, “Thanks be to God.”
Father Robert continues. “This makes it easy. On matters that affect our own lives, things we need or desire, God will help you if you ask but you also have to do your part. In matters where others have wronged you, sinned against you.... these are not yours to deal with. God and God alone may judge, smite, mete out vengeance. Need a new job or promotion to make better money? Ask God, then do your best to improve your skills, seek out a different position, whatever is necessary. But, did someone mislead your boss about a project or their own skills and manipulate their way into the promotion you should have been given? Give that to God, He will take that person up on their sin.”
I glance at Sienna again. She seems to be paying more attention. I hope this is sinking in, and she will let go of this obsession with getting back at Kelcey. It's bad enough she's already hurt Sasha.
Father Robert gives more examples, and talks about also accepting the consequences of your own actions.
“No one is to blame for your sins but yourselves. It can be easy to blame someone else for leading you astray, blame a medical condition or mental illness, even blame God when all other excuses have run dry. But God gave us free will, and in the end it is our own choices that lead to sin or grace. We choose to follow others' lead. We choose to ignore getting help when we are depressed or angry. We choose to look upward in anger rather than inward. The only way to truly repent and find God's grace is to recognize that sin comes from within, take responsibility for it, confess it. Then and only then will God absolve you and you may find peace, and the strength to sin no more.”
I squirm a little in my seat. That makes it sound like Jaina has no choice but to accept her situation and blame herself, when she didn't really do anything wrong. Then again, a very strict priest would say she did, the whole sex before marriage thing. In that case I'm a massive sinner myself, cohabitation and all that. The few months after Blake left me and I acted very unlike myself flashed through my mind, but I didn't want to think about how often I felt like a hypocrite and a whore sitting in church after doing those things so I pushed the thought away. I had tuned Father Robert out for a few moments, but he gets my attention with his closing statement.
“I will leave you with this, from Proverbs, 6:20. “My son, keep your father's commandment, and forsake not your mother's teaching.” Ouch. I felt like that came directly to my ears from my Mom. I know that chapter well, it's the one where it says God hates liars. Mom read it to me a lot. “This scripture is in a chapter warning against adultery, but the sentiment can be applied to every aspect of our lives. Your Father's commandment is God's Word, and your mother's teaching is what you know inside yourself of what is right from wrong. Keep these words with you today, and all your days.”
I wasn't even paying attention to Sienna at this point, at first it felt like the message was meant for her, with the whole vengeance thing. But the rest? All me. Me, me, me. I have been going back and forth in my head over what I should do about Jaina, stand my ground or give in to her practically begging me to help her. I'm still not sure honestly, but being reminded of my Mom is pushing me towards standing my ground. Jaina might hate me but she'd at least learn something. Right?
After Communion (which obviously Sienna couldn't do, and I was questioning if I even should, but I did anyway) Sienna and I left rather quickly, as I usually do. A lot of the congregation hang around and talk, catch up with each other, maybe wait to speak to Father Robert. But I don't do that, because I don't want to attract attention. I know I love attention usually, on TV and for work, but church isn't the place for that.
* * * * *
After church, Sienna and I go to breakfast at a place called Dot's Diner, about ten minutes up the road. It was closer to lunchtime but Dot's serves breakfast 24/7 so that's technically what we're having. After ordering, we're served our coffee and waiting for our order.
“Well, what did you think?”
“Honestly?”
“Always honestly.”
“Okay. At first I thought the whole thing was going to be bullshit. But... the more the man talked, the more it made some sense.”
“You think so?”
Sienna nods. “I know I have been upset and obsessed and blaming Kelcey and Sasha and their little minions for everything that's been done to me. I still believe that, but like your priest said, it's up to them to take responsibility for that. I can't make them make up for their infractions against me. I am only responsible for myself.”
“So you see then that even though we know you have every right to be angry at Sasha and Kelcey and all of them... going after Sasha like that was not the right thing?”
Sienna sighs, and sips her coffee. She hates being wrong just as much as I do. But I have a job to do, take care of my friend and help her get through this, and that might mean she gets mad at me sometimes. “It wasn't well thought out, I will give you that. I was angry from the night before, added to everything else. I just exploded.”
“You've been doing that a lot, babe. You keep things inside, you let it bottle up until rage comes out. That's not healthy for anyone.”
“Those bitches turned the person I trusted most against me.”
“Nonsense. You're not alone, Sie. You have me. You have Xio. I know you trust us. And at the risk of pushing maybe a bit, you have God too, if you want His help. You heard Father Robert, all you have to do is ask.”
“I don't think I'm really ready for that kind of thing, but I have to thank you for everything you're doing for me. I know Katya is putting a lot of pressure on you, and I don't make it easy. But I am trying Bree, I really am. You don't think I'm crazy, do you?”
“Of course not, babe. I know you better than that. You are just easily triggered, and we need to figure out how to fix that.”
“I wish I knew.”
“We will figure it out. That's why I wanted you here, I can't help you figure it out and fix things and keep you away from whatever triggers you if you're in California.”
Sienna smiles. Our server appears with our omelets. I have a large blob of grits with mine, Sienna has a fruit cup. The server also refills our coffee before going on her way. Sienna reaches for my hand across the table before we start on our meals.
“You have such a good heart, Bree. Doing all of this, not just for me but everyone. You took your niece in after her ugly break up, you're insisting on doing anything you can for me, you always push others to be the best they can. It's inspiring, it's what I tried to do with For the People but you really mean it.”
“You meant it too, I know you did. I know a lot of it was for publicity but deep down you liked helping those people.”
Sienna looks away a second, I think for some reason she didn't want to admit that she did. Either that or I'm wrong and she doesn't want to break my heart. Either wouldn't surprise me to be honest. I just choose to believe the best of her unless she tells me different.
“Maybe but not like you. I would have made it known I took people in to help take care of them, you haven't done that. You're doing it purely out of love. You're a better person than I am.”
“Stop it, you are a good person. You're just reacting to things that have been done to you. Me? I just want everyone to be okay. I've been so worried about you the last few months, I kept offering all of you to come here, I'm starting to think it was Chris who didn't want to and not you. But I couldn't keep taking no for an answer. Jaina, she asked to live with me, I couldn't deny her. I've never denied her when she asked me for help before...” As soon as those words left my mouth, my heart sank. I kinda just did, didn't I? I make myself continue though, Sienna doesn't know Jaina is pregnant and I promised I wouldn't say anything. “I will always do anything I can to help the people I love babe, you know that.”
Sienna nods, and finally cuts into her omelet. “I know. I'm just happy to be one of them.”
I smile at her, and stab my omelet, too.
{{Wednesday, September 30
Louisville}}
Sienna and I may be main eventing Breakdown tonight, but other matches on the card have my interest. Specifically, David Helms versus Xander Valentine. Xander tried to murder Tommy at Apocalypse and I'm guessing he may try the same with David. Not sure exactly why, something to do with Regan, but Xander has been actively trying to murder everyone from Tommy, Regan, Selena, and even fans for like a year, so I didn't think it was a stretch to think he would do his best to hurt David. And that... is what has my interest, given my upcoming match at Under Attack. I needed to pay attention and look for any weaknesses Xander might uncover or create. So, I am watching the match backstage, from a monitor not far away from gorilla. I didn't want to be in the way but I wanted to be close in case something happened that required my participation. Nothing had, however my other Under Attack opponent had other ideas. I never notice Tommy running past on the way through the curtain since I was watching a monitor, but I did see him suddenly appear at the ring and drop Xander with a weapon of some kind. I think it was whatever he had used at Apocalypse, something metal. I smirked as he then went after David. The man has balls, I will give him that. I prefer to be more calculating with my interference when necessary. Tommy though ran in there guns blazing. Not my style at all but I had to respect it.
After Tommy did his damage and the match was thrown out, I watched him come up the ramp towards the curtain. I positioned myself to be able to catch him before he went back to his locker room or wherever. I look around, to see if Kandis or the big guy, Olaf? Was around. I don't see either of them. Good. Tommy comes through the curtain, still laughing a bit. When he turns around though he stops, and shakes his head as he turns in my direction. I don't think he sees me as he walks by.
“Hey.” Tommy turns his head, then sees me. He nods. “Can we talk for a moment?”
“Don't you have a match to get ready for?”
I look down at myself, I've already changed into my gear. “I'm ready. And this won't take long.”
He shrugs. “Okay. We should probably go somewhere with a little less traffic though.”
He gestures around. There's a number of staff and other roster around. He's right, it's not a good idea this close to the curtain. I nod, and we go down the hall a bit, into a little alcove where some equipment crates are being stored.
“Thank you. First of all... nicely done.”
“I thought you might approve.”
“You do realize that a lot of people are going to think you and I planned this out, right?”
“Probably. So what? Whether we have been on the same page or not won't matter in two weeks.”
“Not after we get him out of the way.”
“That's my point.”
“Right. Anyway, I just wanted to let you know I was watching and I am impressed.”
“Good to know. I was looking more for putting everyone on notice though, including you.”
“Consider me notified.”
He smirks. “Good.” We look at each other a few seconds, and I'm wondering just how solid our previous agreement is. Before I can say anything though, Tommy speaks first. “While I have you in front of me, I do have a question.”
“Shoot.”
“This little three way thing Katya has graced with... what does it mean for our deal? Is it considered granted, or what?”
“I was asking myself the same thing. What do you think?”
“If we knock Dave out first... it'll be like one of us beat him for the title and we're just having an immediate match that we agreed on.”
I think about this a few seconds, but it almost sounds to me like he's trying to back out of giving me my shot if he comes out of this the winner. “That's a good point. But maybe we should wait to see who wins and who eliminates who before calling any deal settled.”
Tommy rubs his chin, thinking. He must be considering the same thing I am... if he or I get eliminated first, we'd still want to call in our agreement. Finally, he nods.
“Okay. That makes sense. We'll wait and see.”
“I think that's the fair thing to do. I do want you to know that I fully expect you to take any opportunity to eliminate David or me that you can get. But keep in mind that I plan to do the same.”
“Wouldn't expect anything less from you. Just like our match before Hodges KO'd you.”
I cringe. “Don't remind me. Speaking of that asshole, I hope he and everyone else who keep squawking about shots stay out of this.”
“I hope so, too. But I can maybe help with that. My guy Olaf, he has this thing about honor, fair fights. I'll have him make sure that no one trying to interfere gets close, no matter who's ally they happen to be.”
“I'm sure Kandis would lend a hand or something as well.” Tommy nods “I will tell Scott the same. He can't do much physically but he is very good at being a distraction in other ways. Between the three of them it should be pretty difficult for anyone to get involved.”
“Sounds like a plan. This really needs to be decided between the three of us and no one else.”
“I couldn't agree more. I will speak with Scott after my match. He'll be on board.”
“Good. Speaking of your match... good luck.”
“Thanks, but I hardly think I need it against those two.”
“I meant with Sienna.”
Tommy smirks and walks off. I sigh. I might need it there....
{{Thursday, October 1st
Lexington, KY}}
So much for pretty much everything Sienna told me after church. Not only did she not ignore Kelcey at ringside during our tag match against Owen Cruze and Aaron Blackbourne, she actively went after her, pulled out a chair – getting herself hit in the face with it instead – left me to fight half the match by myself, and then? Pissed off Kelcey enough that she dropped Sienna with a Perfect Ending. Sure, it gave us the DQ win and two points, but that is besides the point. Kelcey hit Sienna. She hit her. Sienna is not going to let this go now. No matter what I say, what she hears in church. There isn't anything I can do about it, regardless if Katya thinks I'm her 'keeper' or not.
After the main event was over, it was chaos backstage. Sienna was losing it, she was screaming and demanding to know where Kelcey was, she wanted to go after her right then. I had enough, I lost it myself for a second and actually slapped her. Sienna had fallen and I realized what I'd done. But it did seem to get through to her just a bit. I made Xio promise not to let Sienna out of her sight, I had Jaina staying with me, I couldn't have Sienna around her in the state she was in. I couldn't tell Xio that though, I just asked her to do it because she was more used to handling Sienna than I was and had a better chance of getting her to listen. Thankfully that worked.
Today though has been better. Sienna was given the house show off due to the cut on her head from the chair. When I saw her this morning she had other bruises and a busted lip, I guess I didn't notice backstage, I was too upset at the way she was acting. I bet that damn Perfect Ending did the lip, fucking Kelcey. Anyway, Sienna had to appear at the show though so she is in Lexington with us. Jaina stayed on the road with me, she didn't want to go home alone she said. Not that she would have been, Dom is home. I think she is really just avoiding Reece. But that's an issue for when we do get home. For now, Jaina and I are back at the hotel after the show, we have been sharing a room. Sienna and Xiomara are in the room across the hall. After we get changed into comfortable clothes and I order food from room service, Jaina sits in her bed, leaning against the headboard, messing with her phone. I sit at the table with my laptop. We are quiet for a few minutes, then I see out of the corner of my eye Jaina has put her phone down, and she's watching me. It's a little unnerving. I turn to face her.
“What?”
“Oh. Sorry. I don't know.”
I close my laptop and turn the whole chair around to face her properly. “Yes you do. You look like you want to say something.”
“Well... I mean I was kinda wondering how Sienna is doing. Since last night and all.”
I sigh. “Well, she's calmed down since last night. But she's still mad. I don't think I'll really be able to tell until we get home and away from SCW people.”
“Her cut looks better.”
“Yeah, it does. At least it didn't bruise like my forehead did a few weeks ago.”
“Yeah, that was nasty.” Jaina cringes.
“As long as we're discussing wellness, how are you? You seemed tired earlier.”
“I was. I am. Like, all the time. I don't know how no one from production hasn't noticed. Did you see when Holly Adams handed me a half-eaten candy? I thought I was gonna throw up right there.”
I grin. “That was last week.”
“I know, but it still grosses me out!” She makes another cringe face. I can't help but laugh a little.
“It'll get better, you know. This stuff passes.”
Jaina sighs, and her expression turns serious. “I actually did want to talk to you. About that. This.” She rests her hand over her stomach.
“You did?”
She nods. “That day in the car... after the doctor? You told me to think about things, get my head straight are the words I think you used. I was pretty sure I knew what I wanted, but.... you're older than me, you've been through some shit. I thought maybe you were right, I was reacting out of fear or whatever. So, I did what you said. Think about things. A lot.”
“I'm glad to hear that. I hope you know I only want what's best for you, babygirl. I don't want you to make some rash decision and end up regretting it.”
“I know. That's why I took what you said and really thought about it.”
“And what did you come up with?”
“Well, first I thought about Kelsai. How she wanted to adopt. But that can't work, her and Victor are separated right now, and there's no telling when or if they will work things out. She seems to think it'll be any day now, but based on what she told me happened? I think she's in denial, I really do.”
I shake my head. “Typical Mason bullshit. It was only a matter of time, really. Poor girl.” I mean that, Kelsai deserves better. Not that I know what happened. But anything has to be better than a Mason, right? Jaina ignores my comment.
“So that isn't really an option. But if it was, or even just regular adoption, like to someone I don't know... that would mean eventually I wouldn't be able to hide this. I would have to tell Reece.”
“Of course you would.” I think she should have by now, but it's not my place.
“So, I tried. Every time I saw him I thought about it, a few times I had the words in my head during a silent moment. But every time I nearly said something, the thought of it made me sick. Like, literally nauseated.”
“Jaina...”
“I know, it sounds terrible, but I can't help it. I like him and all, sure. But I've only known him a few months. Do I really want to be tied to him for the rest of my life? Or what if he wants nothing to do with it, or me, anymore?”
“Do you really think he'd be like that? I've known him barely longer than you and I don't think he's that kind of person at all. He'd be there, I know he would.”
“But that brings me back to, do I want to be tied to him forever? What if this was never meant to be anything more than casual but now I've made it a thing?”
“To be fair, you both made it.”
Jaina scowls. “You know what I mean!” I shrug. I'm not wrong. “Anyway... I even thought about talking to Mom and Dad. Mom would do anything to help me, even if she'd be upset and disappointed. But Dad would be more, I know that, and that's the last thing I ever want to do."
“Don't be ridiculous, your dad loves you! You have no idea the lengths he would go for you, has gone.” Like jail, for accidentally killing someone while trying to protect Jaina when she was little.
“Actually, yes I do. I wasn't a baby when that shit happened, you know. I remember a lot. I know exactly what he did, I was there. I saw everything. I think about it a lot, probably more than I should. Why do you think I don't want to do anything that would make him upset with me? It was so hard to leave their house and live with you, but I couldn't be around Mom, I didn't want to say something to her that would upset him.” Jaina seems near tears. I had no idea she was so afraid of Wyatt ever looking down on her.
“I didn't know you remembered that. I'm sorry. But I can almost promise you that there is no way your dad, or your mom for that matter, would look down on you or turn their back on you for anything.”
Jaina shakes her head. “You don't know that. You can't promise that. You literally just said 'almost.' I can't talk to them about this. I can't let them down like that. Mom went stuck her neck out for me for this job and if I go through with this, I'll have to quit. I can't take a baby on the road! So-”
“Jaina, there's so many things you could do-”
“No! Please listen. I did what you asked. I thought about everything. I did. But I just can't do it. I'm sorry. I have to get rid of it. I know you don't agree with it, you don't believe in it... but I don't have anyone else to help me. I don't trust anyone else. Please.”
Now she is crying. Like her mom does, silently, the only tell being the tears going down her cheeks. I don't understand how they do that. I grab a tissue from the box on the table and hand it to her. She wipes her face. I feel a knot in my throat. Fuck. “Well, you evidently did put a lot of thought into this. You have an answer for everything. I may not like it, but I am not you. This clearly isn't an impulsive decision. Given that you took time to consider things like I asked you, it's only fair that you give me some time to consider it, too.”
She just stares at me a few seconds. I guess it wasn't the answer she wanted. But then she sits up and swings her feet off the edge of the bed. “Really? You'll think about it?”
“I will. Like I said, it's only fair.”
“Thank you.” She practically dives off the bed towards me in my chair and hugs me. I really think if I hadn't put my arms around her to catch her, she'd have slid off and hit the floor.
What am I really going to do, though? I can't be a part of ending life, but I can't let Jaina go through this alone. I close my eyes as I hug her, and silently ask God for help.
{{Saturday, October 3rd
Kenner}}
We got home today just after noon. Sienna and Xio all head upstairs to their rooms to unpack. Jaina runs to the bathroom while I go to the kitchen to get a water. I wheel our bags to the den to be taken upstairs later. Dom isn't home, this is his usual gym time. Just as Jaina comes out of the bathroom, there's a knock on the side door. Only one person uses that door, Reece. Jaina looks at me wide-eyed. She shakes her head and mouths the words “No, I can't” silently. I glare at her. She mouths “please.” I sigh and wave her towards the stairs. She runs up. I open the door and put on a smile.
“Hey babe. I thought you were flying out with the team this week?”
“Yeah, I am. In a few hours. In fact I have to be at the airport soon. But I saw you guys get home so I came to talk real quick.”
“Well, I'm sorry but Jaina is upstairs laying down. She didn't sleep much last night and-”
“No, no. I wanted to talk to you. About her. Are you sure she won't hear?”
“I can't be certain, but we can step outside if you like.”
Reece nods, and I go out the door with him. The side door is around the back corner of the house, so we walk around to where the patio and pool is and sit. I look up and note that Jaina's window is closed. Reece speaks a little quieter than usual for outdoors. “I'd appreciate it if you didn't mention this to her.”
“Like I asked you not to mention a certain conversation to her?”
Reece sighs. “You have a point. But I'm asking you anyway. I'm worried about her.”
“Why so?”
Reece shakes his head a bit. “She just hasn't been herself the last two or three weeks. I know, you'll probably tell me I don't really know her that well to know that, but she's definitely changed.”
“No, you're right. I've noticed it too.”
“You have?” I nod. I want to get away with this with as little lying as possible. “Huh. And I thought she was just avoiding me for some reason. I mean, we've spent time together, but she's... quiet. And its been less and less she's agreed to come over or go somewhere. She actually forgot it was my birthday a few days ago, until I reminded her, when we'd made plans for dinner when you guys got home. Just doesn't seem like her. Do you know what's wrong?”
I sigh. Even I remembered to text him, even though it was the thirtieth, the same day as Breakdown and I had a lot going on.. I guess hormones are making her forget things. “She's acting the same way with me, and her parents. She um.... ran into her ex at work recently. They had a conversation that messed with her head. She's been kinda weird since then. I'm not sure she really got over it yet.” Okay, so I was exaggerating. But not technically lying. Right? Reece nods.
“Yeah, she told me about that. But it didn't sound that bad from what she said.”
“Well, maybe she just downplayed it to you, to not concern you. And you shouldn't be. She's working through it.”
“Okay. I don't know, Bree. Maybe I've been looking at this thing with me and her differently than she is.”
“What do you mean?”
“Like... we think its two different things.”
Shit. “What do you think it is?”
“I thought it was going really well. We spent a lot of time together when you and Dom were on vacation. I like her a lot. Maybe it's... I don't know, one sided?”
“Oh no, no it's not. She likes you, I know she does. Whatever this is, isn't about you.” Well. That was a lie.
“I was pretty sure she did, but.... maybe she got a little spooked or something? There was one night that was a little... uh, intense. I'll leave it at that.”
“I get the idea, thanks.” I'm guessing it was the one night Jaina said they weren't completely careful. “Maybe she did. And then she talked to her ex soon after.... it would make sense.”
Reece nods. “Yeah, maybe.”
“The point though, is that I don't think you did anything wrong, or that you need to worry. She just has a lot on her mind right now, I have my friends Sienna and Xiomara staying here, Sienna is... going through some things. It's made things very stressful for everyone.”
“I did see her... antics, the last two weeks. I'm sorry you have so much to deal with. I didn't know she was here, I wouldn't have bothered you.”
“No, it's fine. You're not bothering me, you had a concern. But don't worry, okay? Jaina will come around. Just give her some time to clear her head.”
“Okay. Thanks.” Reece checks his watch, then stands up. “I really need to get going, I can't miss this flight. Do me a favor though and tell Jaina she can trust me, I'm here for her.”
“I will.” I smile and get up too, if he's leaving, I'm going back inside. “Oh, and I wish your team luck with the game tomorrow.”
Reece grins. “Thanks. We'll need it, there's like six starters out injured.” I look at him blankly. “Right... you don't know what that means. We just need all the luck we can get.”
I smirk. “I know what starters are, Reece. I just didn't realize so many guys were hurt, that's all.”
He laughs. “Sorry.”
“I do know some things. I was a cheerleader for God's sake.” We both laugh. “Anyway, get. I don't want to be responsible for you missing your flight and getting a nasty phone call from an angry head coach.”
“Please. He'd get someone else to do that. See you later. Probably Monday.”
I wave, and Reece goes through the gate and back to his house.
I go inside and upstairs to Jaina's room. I knock.
“Come in.”
I walk in and Jaina is sitting in an armchair, with her feet up on an ottoman. They're both purple microfiber. The woman has funky taste. “I won't bother you for long, but I wanted you to know. Reece is worried about you because you've apparently been acting different, he thinks you're avoiding him. And you are.” I never acually agreed to Reece to not tell her what he said. Jaina nods, looking down at her hands in her lap. “I just blatantly lied to my friend's face for you, I made it sound like you were in your head over when you talked to Jordan a few weeks ago. He wanted me to tell you that you can trust him and he is there for you.”
“I know that.” She doesn't look up.
“Look at me.” She lifts her head reluctantly. “I don't care what you tell him, but you need to talk to him and tell him something. I am not going to keep making things up and then telling you what I said to cover your ass. Is that understood?”
“Yeah. I got it. Thank you for talking to him for me. I'll see him when he gets back from Detroit.”
Detroit? Oh, that must be where the football game is. “Okay. I don't want you to think I'm saying this to be mean to you. I just don't think its fair to that man to make him worry about you, he cares for you.”
“You think so?”
“After that conversation I just had? I know so.”
Jaina nods, and looks back down at her hands, picking at her fingernails. I don't have anything else to say really so I just walk out.
When I first found out about them hooking up I never thought I would actually be hoping it would work out. Yet here we are. Although if she is already keeping massive secrets from him, I have my doubts. I hate that I just lied to him for her, helping her keep that secret. But a promise is a promise.
{{Sunday, October 4th
Kenner}}
It's early Sunday morning and I am awake and getting ready for church, as usual. Dom is downstairs making breakfast, as he does sometimes. I am dressed, in a black cotton dress and flats. I go downstairs and Sienna is at the island, still in her shorts and cami she slept in, with a thin robe over it. Dom is at the stove cooking bacon, his back to us.
“Babe, why aren't you getting dressed?”
“Do I need to be?”
“Well you can't wear your pajamas to church.”
Sienna shakes her head. “That's fine, because I am not going with you again.”
“You're not?”
“That's what I said. Look, last week was an experience, and I'm glad that it makes you happy, but it's not for me.”
“How can you know that after one time? It... it's like therapy, you can't get anything out of it going once.” I see Dom turn his head and look at us over his shoulder. I guess he heard me. He shakes his head a little and goes back to the frying pan.
“Do you think I've never been to an church service before last Sunday?”
“Well, no, but-”
“Then trust me. I know. I went with you last week because you were so insistent, and I didn't hate it, but I can't do that every Sunday. It's not me, sweetie.”
“So you don't want my help?”
“Of course I do... just not like that. I need you, not God.”
“But God-”
“Bree.”
“What?”
“I'm not going. Don't push me.”
Sienna gets up and goes into the den. I sigh. Dom either didn't hear, or he's purposely ignoring this. I don't blame him. I then see Xiomara come into the kitchen from the den. She's wearing tight black leggings and a yellow halter top.
“She's right, Mami.”
“I don't know any other way to help her.”
“Can we talk somewhere else?” Xio glances over her shoulder an the den door. She doesn't want Sienna to hear.
“But I was getting ready to go to church, and Sienna-”
“Please? It won't take long.”
“Okay. We can go in the library.”
Neither Xio nor Sienna had been into that room yet, so I lead Xio there, its through a door in the formal living room. Technically next to the den but you can't get from one to the other. We go in and sit on the couch I have in there.
“Listen to me, okay? I am going to be blunt, Sienna is unstable. Everyone knows that, even you seem to want to downplay it.”
“I know that babe, I only downplay it around her, because I don't want to set her off.”
“So you think trying to push her into doing something she doesn't want to do won't set her off?”
“I... well....” I sigh. “Like I said, I don't know any other way to help her. I just know what helps me.”
“I get that, I really do. But most of Sienna's life has been spent with other people telling her what do to, deciding for her what's best for her. Trying to make her into something she isn't. Has anyone ever tried to do that to you?”
“Yes.” I didn't have the energy to further explain.
“Then you know. It doesn't help. It makes things worse. I know you are doing the best you can Mami but I am here to tell you that this isn't it. Removing Sienna from Los Angeles and all the drama there was a good idea, being here does help I think. But you – we – shouldn't be trying to push Sienna into things, we should be asking her what she needs instead.”
“I know what she needs. She wants to kill Kelcey.”
Xio smirks. “Yes I know, she is very angry with Kelcey and everything she has done, and continues to do, antagonize her.”
“No, you don't understand. I think she wants to literally kill Kelcey. I've never seen her this angry at anyone. And look, I am the first person to understand being utterly frustrated and sick to the eyeballs of Kelcey Wallace. She ruined so many things for me too, I have hated her for years. I think Sienna thinks that because of that I would be all for her going after Kelcey like this, but it's too much. I admit that I have hurt or injured people myself for lesser infractions, but Sienna is obsessed. She's been obsessed and paranoid about Kelcey for over a year, more than I ever was, and I don't know how to fix it.”
Xio pats my arm gently. “I know your history with her, Sienna has told me. The cunt deserves a good ass kicking for her ego and self-righteousness, not to mention that strike at Sienna Wednesday night. But you are right, Sienna has let this go too far. I don't know how to fix it either, but we must find a way. All I do know, is that pushing her is not the right way. We got away with making her come here, but we can't strong arm her anymore. If she doesn't want to go to church, let it be. We will find another way. She needs to be led gently, let her think whatever happens is her idea.”
I nod. I hate it, but Xio is right. I can't seem to do anything right anymore. Jaina and I have been at odds over her issue, now the way I planned on helping Sienna isn't working out how I hoped. I don't know what else to do, for either of them. “Okay. I have used that manipulation tactic before with others, I just never thought I would need to with my best friend.”
“Don't think of it as manipulating her. Think of it as helping her to help herself.”
“I think I can do that.”
“Good to hear it. In the meantime... I don't think there will be anything we can do to stop this fight between Sienna and Kelcey that they both seem to want.”
Twitter yesterday had been a shit show, Sienna and Kelcey going at each other, Blake threw his two cents in, I had enough and told him to shut the fuck up. Xio and I ended up taking Sienna's phone from her, then we deleted and blocked Twitter from it before giving it back. She doesn't need to be on there. Honestly neither did I, I rarely go off on anyone anymore, much less Blake of all people. But even I have my breaking point. Dom saw the whole thing and didn't ask me to stop, he told me. He was right. I hate that he has to deal with my bullshit over Blake. Xio is probably right about Sienna and Kelcey, too.
“Probably not. Maybe we're looking at this wrong and it will be good for her. Let it be in a ring, under SCWs watch, and get it out of her system.”
“That's what I am thinking. We just need to keep her as level headed as we can until then.”
I nod, and we leave the library. I go into the den, and Sienna is sitting on the couch with her arms crossed, deep in thought. I sit next to her.
“Hey babe.”
“Bree.”
“Listen, I'm sorry I was pushing the issue. I know I don't like to be pushed into doing something I don't want to do, so I'm not going to do it to you.”
“It's okay, sweetie, I know you're just trying to help.”
“It's not okay. I wasn't listening to you. But it's done. I'm not going to church today either. I'm gonna stay here with you. It's warmer out than it was supposed to be, what do you say we take advantage and swim?”
Sienna smiles. “Now that is a great idea. I'll go get changed.”
I smile back at her as she gets up and goes upstairs.
We ended up making a pool day of things, with Xio, Dom, and even Jaina joining in over the course of the day. Maybe all I needed to do to help them was get them to relax, for just one day.
ON CAMERA
Outdoors in what appears to be some kind of courtyard, we find former World Champion and current World Champion contender Bree Lancaster seated on a cement bench under a large tree. Wearing black jeans and a blue and white striped top, Bree straddles the bench much like she would do one in a locker room or gym. Sunglasses on her face hide whatever emotion may be in her eyes, but the scowl her mouth is screwed up into coupled with the way her arms are crossed tell us that Bree is not in a good mood.
I thought that some fresh air might make me more calm to sit here and talk about not only last week, but tomorrow night. So I came down here from my hotel suite, but I have to be honest babes... first of all, there is no such thing as 'fresh air' in Philadelphia. And secondly, I don't think anything will keep me calm, because everything about last week was utter bullshit! In fact the only good thing that came from it was the two points that Kelcey Wallace handed Sienna and I the moment she put her hands on Sienna.
Let's talk about that for a moment, okay? Here is a woman who retired for medical reasons... got pregnant against the advice of doctors, nearly died giving birth to that child, along with a handful of other things I am not going to mention because I respect the confidence of the people who told me these things... yet here she is week in and week out at ringside, following around her little Perfect Pack like a.... a chaperone, or something. Yet she gets pissy when things get heated or a little dangerous and she just hauls off and attacks the woman who took care of her child for over a year! I've always called out Kelcey for everything that she is, and it's time to add ungrateful bitch to the list, don't you think?
Now I can hear the Kelcey apologists and Sienna haters already screaming that Sienna had a chair. But think about that for a moment, okay? Do you really think that Sienna was going to actually swing that at Kelcey? Believe what you want, but all I saw was a woman trying to intimidate another woman into backing down. And can we talk about the fact Owen Cruze dropkicked that chair into Sienna's face yet Aaron Demitra did nothing?! Yet another example of the blatant disrespect shown to Sienna and I on a weekly basis. Owen should have been disqualified at that point, and if Demitra had done his job, none of the rest of it would have happened! No Sienna hitting Kelcey, no Kelcey dropping Sienna!
But no one wants to hear that, because God forbid your heroes do anything wrong.
Bree rolls her eyes, shaking her head.
I hope Kelcey is proud of herself for the chaos she has caused. It's what she seems to do best, nevermind the fact she got what she wanted. She has that precious baby she doesn't deserve, and Sienna lost her husband. But that wasn't enough. Now she wants to keep provoking and provoking Sienna, when Jordan Majors just recently showed the world how bad of an idea that is. But Kelcey, I want you to know that I do appreciate you handing us the win and two points over the best interests of your Perfect Pack team. I wonder how Owen and Aaron feel about that?
Oh, wait. I don't actually care.
Bree laughs to herself.
I am sure that Sienna will have much more to say about this garbage so I am going to end it here, unlike some people on this roster, I know when to back off and move on.
Before I start to talk about this week's tag match, I'd just like to make it known that I heard the speculation after the ending of David Helms and Xander Valentine's match, that myself and Tommy Valentine planned his attack together. That just isn't true. Tommy acted on his own, and while I don't really have a problem with it, since it's clear to anyone who pays the slightest bit of attention that he's got issues with both men... I had nothing to do with it. If I had, I would have been out there as well, and honestly? I don't feel the need to pull off such stunts this time around. Just because Tommy and I have a mutual enemy and made a business arrangement doesn't mean we're plotting all these dastardly deeds, or even that we're friends. Business is business. Under Attack and the Three Way Dance put those plans and deals on pause. We'll see what happens when the dust settles, but for now? All bets are off.
Bree shrugs, as if she'd said the most obvious thing in the world.
Now then. Tomorrow night. Match two of the Tag League for me and Sienna, and we'll face Jay Gold and Holly Adams. Holly, hi babe. I'm gonna start with you.
Bree gives her trademark finger wiggle wave.
Listen, I understand you're well known around here, people call you a legend, recent Hall of Fame inductee. That's great, it really is. But I also understand that you'd been away from the business for a while before making your return here, and I have to tell you babe... things have changed in your absence. First of all.... this “all about me” thing you have going on is stale, okay? Running around insulting literally everyone you see isn't going to do you any favors. As my niece so succinctly put it – you don't have any friends. No one likes you. Oh wait... maybe that was Gollum... anyway. Point is, she was right. Literally everyone hates you, because you're that much of a bitch. Maybe you think you're being edgy or you''r drawing ratings cause you think everyone wants to see what Holly is gonna say next, who's her next target? But I am here to tell you babe that shock and insult comedy died out roughly ten years ago, when the world realized that slinging insults for shock value and to annoy the pearl-clutchers isn't funny or entertaining, it's just lazy. Anyone can say mean or disgusting things like we're on a middle school playground, but why? Why would anyone, especially a woman of your age and status, want to walk around sounding like a fourteen year old boy trying to impress his shitty friends?
Oh wait... I forgot... You don't have friends. So I guess you're trying to impress yourself? I mean, your selfishness, bitchiness, ego, and vanity makes me look like the sweet girl next door everyone wants their son to marry, and trust me babe... that is saying something. At least I have friends, and at least I have a tag partner who actually wants to team with me.
Jay Gold. Hi to you too, babe.
Another finger wiggle wave.
You know, I really feel badly for you. Legitimately. It was clear that you wanted a different partner, I've heard that you were set to team with Kelsai Adamson, until she got hurt, thanks to that Infamous bitch. That pairing would have made much more sense for you, you've worked together before, you have the same ideals about what you think SCW should be like. Kelsai is a sweet girl, I think she can be a little misguided at times, and I certainly disagree with a lot of how she sees things around here, but she didn't deserve to be hurt like that, and you Jay? You deserve a partner that you can count on. Not someone who will no doubt be more concerned with what angle the camera is filming her at and how to best put herself over, leaving you behind.
Now Jay, I know you've had some issues recently. Struggling to get a win, get some momentum. I remember how that is. I mean, it was a long time ago, but I remember. It sucks. It makes you feel inadequate. Question your ability. Wonder if you're even in the right business. Am I right? Listen, I'm not going to sit here and try to convince you that you're past your prime like some people have done. Just because you're yet another Hall of Famer come back looking for one more run, doesn't mean that you don't belong here. I mean, look at what David Helms has done, right? Does he inspire you? Coming out of retirement and almost immediately running roughshod over the company... Trios, the Flame, beating me at Rise to Greatness to become World Champion?
It does sound inspiring, doesn't it?
The problem with that is, usually the faster a person rises to the top, the harder they come crashing down. He's burning up his reserves, babe. You? You're doing this the right way. No big flashy wins for your, no meteoric rise, only to burn out just as fast. Jay... what you're doing by these struggles is setting yourself up to be so much better next year. You'll have learned about everyone on the roster, because the best way to learn how to defeat someone is for them to beat you first. I mean, look at me. Almost everyone I beat over the last year, has also beat me in the past. I have one name left on my list of people to prove I've learned, can and will be better than... and you'll see that happen at Under Attack.
But you, Jay? Sienna and I are more than happy to be a part of your lessons. One more loss added to the rest is only going to give you something else to study, a bit more added motivation to keep plugging along, and make 2021 your year!
Just... not in time to make any impact on the Tag League.
Bree shrugs, almost apologetically. She smirks, telling us the apologetic demeanor is mockery.
I mean, you're teaming with Holly Adams. And you haven't even had a match together yet. Last week you and Holly were meant to face the Wonderland but they didn't show up. No one knows why, I doubt it's because they were afraid of you. My point thought is that you were awarded the win and two points by forfeit.
Unfortunately for the two of you? This week isn't going to be nearly as easy.
You'll have to actually get in the ring. Speak to each other. Try to get Holly to pay attention to something other than herself or her own interests. You might be able to get lucky against some other team and pull off a miracle win. I mean, you're both Hall of Famers, you're both talented, you're both in great shape despite the years of wear and tear on your bodies. But... you're not a real team. You're not even friends.
I realize that Sienna and I haven't teamed together as much as some of the other teams in this tournament. But we have done so enough times to know how to work together. Let me remind you all that the very first time we teamed together was also for a tag tournament, in 2017. It was held over one night, we had three matches and we went to the finals, losing out to Kennedy Street and Amy Chastaine. We did all of that the first time we fought together.
Just imagine what we are capable of now, three years later, more matches together under our belts, and all that time of friendship, sistership, an unbreakable bond, between us.
The two of you just don't stand much of a chance. That's not discounting your skills, it's just the truth. One on one it might be different. Either one of you with a different partner? Might be different. But you two together up against the two of us?
Bree laughs.
We'll be happy to see another two points tomorrow night, and after putting you away we will be able to turn our focus to Under Attack. Sienna made a challenge that I hope she is granted, and me?
You all know what I'm going to do. Take back what's mine.
Don't worry, babes. I'm not overlooking you, or looking past tomorrow night, at all. I promise I will give you both my full attention when the bell rings. Sienna and I will do our best to make it short and sweet, and put you both out of the misery of having to work with each other for any longer than is necessary.
No need to thank us.
You're welcome.
Bree blows a kiss at the camera. She starts to get up from the bench as the shot fades out.