Rise to Greatness 2023 #1
June 10
Los Angeles
Gail's House
-----------------
Now that Sydney and I had caught up, and I had a nice talk with Uncle Corey too, it was time to do what I flew them here from Florida for – take them to see Gail. I warned them that she looked very different from the last time they saw her. She'd lost weight and her coloring was off, from the liver damage. They said they understood, but I wasn't sure they were really prepared.
I parked my SUV in Gail's driveway, and as everyone got out, Coral met us outside. She gave both Sydney and Uncle Corey hugs, and gave them the same warning I did – Gail doesn't look very good. We went inside, and Gail was in the living room, sitting in her recliner. She looked better than I had expected, based on the last time I saw her, but still like a very sick woman. I saw Uncle Corey's eyes go wide, but he fixed it quickly. Sydney just looked sad. When Gail saw Uncle Corey, she smiled.
“Corey... and your daughter, um... I'm sorry, I forget your name, honey.” The illness had started messing with her memory and cognitive skills, too.
“Sydney.”
“That's right. I'm so glad you came.”
“Of course we came. It took some doing, me and this bad back of mine.”
Corey sat; Coral had pulled chairs from the kitchen table so Corey could sit close to Gail. Coral and I took the couch, and Sydney decided to remain standing.
“Kandis' husband was nice enough to send his jet for us.”
Gail smiled. “That Tommy. I like him a lot.” They'd met a few times now.
“Yeah, I think I'm gonna keep him.” Gail laughed a little. It seemed so listless. Not herself.
“You'd better. He's one of the good ones.” Gail turned to Sydney. “Speaking of good ones, how is that lady of yours?”
“Mandy's good. She couldn't come because of work. But she said to give you her best wishes.”
“Tell her thank you, she's a real sweetheart.” Sydney nodded with a smile.
“I will.”
Gail looked back to Corey. “How is your back, by the way? Last we spoke, you told me something about slipped discs?”
“Yeah, two of 'em. Waiting to hear if they want to do surgery or not. My doc wasn't happy about me flying but said as long as I was careful I'd be fine. Didn't matter what he said, I was coming anyway. Nothing was gonna keep me from seeing my sister one more time.”
They grabbed hands and squeezed. I couldn't imagine what it had to be like for them. Grew up together, just a few years apart. Then separated for over thirty years. Close to forty really, she'd come to California a few years before producing me. Just to be reunited long enough to reconnect before this fucking cancer. He'd known her. I hadn't. This had to be way harder on him than anyone else, including me.
“Stubbornness definitely runs in this family.” Gail glanced towards me.
“Oh, is that where I get it from?” I smirked. Everyone laughed.
“Absolutely.” Gail lets go of Corey's hand, and holds both hands out. “Girls, come here.” Coral and I knew she meant us. We go over and take a hand each. Gail had the most serene and content look on her face, which seemed strange for a woman who knows she's going to die soon. “This is the perfect day. My daughters. My brother and niece. All the family I have, all in one place. You have no idea what this means to me.” She squeezed our hands and smiled. I could see her eyes tearing up.
“It's kind of a thing for me, too.”
“Oh, I know. I wish I could have given you so much more.”
I squeezed her hand. “We've been over this. You did everything you could. You don't owe me anything.”
Uncle Corey gave me a glance, then patted Gail's arm.
“Listen, Gail-”
“No.” She snapped her head towards him. “You don't use that name. I am always Carla for you.”
Uncle Corey smiled. “Okay. Carla... I'd like to talk to you alone for a minute, if the girls here don't mind.”
“Not at all.”
“Sure, Dad.”
Coral just nodded. I realized she hadn't said hardly anything since we got here.
The three of us walked through the kitchen and out the back door to the small porch. I leaned against the rail while Coral and Sydney sat in rocking chairs.
“What do you think that's about?” Coral asked Sydney.
“I have no idea. He did seem very anxious to talk to her once we got here.”
“Just family stuff, I'm sure. Maybe just things from when they were young.”
“Maybe.” Coral didn't seem to think so, though.
“Hey. You okay? You've barely said anything.” Coral had been taking all of this harder than anyone, understandably.
“Yeah... I'm as okay as I'm gonna be. It's just hard. I'm here with her all the time, when I'm not at work. And she's just... accepted, what's coming. Before you got here, she was talking like she knew it was the last time she was going to see Sydney and Uncle Corey.” She gestured towards Sydney. “But she wasn't sad about it, just excited to see you. I just don't understand the resignation. If she's accepted her death, why can't I?”
“She's your mom. Our mom. I'm not exactly processing this well, either.”
“I know. It's different though. I don't know how to explain it.”
I nodded. She didn't have to explain. I knew what she meant. She grew up with Mom, it's a huge impending loss for her. I grew up thinking she was dead, got her back, and now I'm losing her again. I didn't have enough time. It's a huge, but different, loss for me, too.
“I know what you mean.”
Sydney cleared her throat. “Well, if you ask me, I think you're both strong as fuck, how you're handling this.”
I laughed. “You haven't seen me alone, on bad days.” They both grinned in sympathy. “Besides, I've also had some other... bullshit, distracting me.”
“Right. Your porn debut.” Coral smirks.
“If that's what you want to call it.” I smirked back. “The whole thing was pretty fucked up for a while, but it seems to have died down, at least on the internet.”
“I'm glad to hear that. Things like that can ruin careers. Lives.”
I shrugged. “Lucky for me, half the wrestling fanbase already thinks I'm a whore, so it was actually very on brand.”
Sydney opened her mouth to say something, stopped to think about it, then pointed a finger in the air. “You know... that's a good point.”
“The only thing I was really worried about was Tommy's kids, and Mom.”
“How'd it go with the kids?” Coral asked quietly.
“Uh... touchy, because of their mom. It's not really settled yet. But we're trying.”
“Good. And as far as I know... Mom still doesn't know.”
“Thank fuck.” I can't let her die knowing how stupid I was.
“All of us made a promise to not mention it around her. You and me of course, her nurses.” She looked at Sydney. “I know you and your dad won't.”
“Dad doesn't know either. At least I don't think so.”
“Even better. Thanks for covering for me. I don't care what anyone else in the world thinks, but I don't think I could handle her disappointment.”
My sister and cousin just nodded in response.
Uncle Corey and Sydney hugged and cheek-kissed Gail before we left. It seemed they knew they'd probably not see her again. Gail had already lived past the estimate the doctors at the hospital gave her. They had said two weeks. It's been almost three. I hoped she'd continue to beat the odds and stay a little while longer. Maybe after Rise to Greatness, when I'd have more time to spend with her. That's probably just wishful thinking.
The next day, my relatives flew back to Florida. Sydney had to go back to work, and Uncle Corey had another appointment for another MRI on his back. I still wondered what Uncle Corey wanted to talk to Gail about in private, but I'd probably never know. It wasn't my business anyway.
June 17
Santa Barbara
-------------------
I went to Breakdown, the first show after the Flame. I got in Selena's face, said what I had to say. She didn't care for some of my goading about her kids and she took a cheap shot. But it was fine. It was exactly what I wanted her to do. I've taken up residence in her head, and got her on the defensive, which is just where I want her.
Saturday night though, that bitch was the furthest thing from my mind.
I'd done my Saturday night shift at the Starmaker, which ends at midnight. Things usually slow down by then so I'm not needed. Since I saw Drake in Las Vegas and basically picked up where we left off before I got married, he'd come to Santa Barbara to meet up with me twice. Both times we met at a hotel, but I could tell it wasn't to his liking. This week, we were meeting after my shift, and he told me he had a surprise for me.
I was putting away some cocktail glasses from the washer when I looked up and saw Drake walk in. He always dresses in all black, and it never fails to impress me. This time it was jeans with a button up shirt, the shirt with very thin and faint dark gray pinstripes. He looked around as he walked through, and the corners of his mouth turned up just a bit when he saw me. I waved as I put the last glass on top of the pyramid stacked on the side bar. I dried my hands and slid behind Tommy as he slid a long neck to a regular. He then turned and stopped me.
“Hey, you slipping out?”
“Soon as I grab my bag. Need me for anything first?”
“Nah, just like to know when you leave.”
“That's just cause you like watching me walk away.”
“Damn right.” He smacked my ass, laughing. While we joked, Drake had made his way up to the bar.
“Evening.”
“Hey you.”
“What's up.” The guys shook hands. I should be used to that by now but it's still a little weird.
“Looks like a busy night. Are you sure you can spare her for the rest of the evening?”
“Might get hairy, but I wouldn't ask her to change plans. Drink?”
“No thank you, I have something chilling where we're going.”
“Planning ahead, good man.” I picked up on the fact that Drake didn't say 'the hotel' or something specific.
“I hope its tequila.” I smirked. Both guys grinned. They both know what that means. “Okay, lemme grab my bag from the office and we can go.”
Drake nodded, and I turned to go to the office. I quickly grabbed my bag – which had a change of clothes for the next day and sneakers instead of the heels I worked in – and went back out. I saw Tommy and Drake in what looked like deep discussion, both leaning on the bar. I waited a minute, and when it looked like they were done, walked up.
“Ready.”
“Alright.” Drake addressed Tommy, “Good speaking with you.”
“Same. Have fun.”
Drake just smiled, then took my arm and we left.
Drake drove for about fifteen minutes, and turned down a road that heads towards Ledbetter Beach.
“Where are we going?”
“I told you I had a surprise.”
“There aren't any hotels around here.”
“I'm aware.” He smirked at me but said nothing more. A few more minutes went by, then he turned down a street two blocks away from the beach.
“Are we staying on the beach?”
“No. I decided it would be more comfortable for both of us if I rented a place here.”
I looked around out the window. I'd been here before of course but never really looked at the houses and condos. They looked expensive. Not as if that was a problem for him.
“That's the surprise?”
“It is. I found a suitable penthouse, just there.” He pointed to a stucco building. The top floor looked like it had a large balcony patio.
“That doesn't really look like your style.”
“Not much around here is. The inside is more stylish than the out, trust me.”
He pulled into the parking lot of the condo building and we exited the car. I grabbed my bag, and followed. I was surprised to see the building had an elevator hidden in what looked like a stairwell from the parking lot. Four floors up, so not too much of a penthouse, but still a fantastic view.
Drake opened the door and I followed him inside. While still not his aesthetic at all, it did look better than from outside. If everything in the place was black or gray instead of white or beige, then it would fit.
“Wow. I expected beach theme and wicker furniture.” I set my bag down on the light gray granite kitchen counter that's right near the door.
“I was afraid of that myself when I viewed it. I was pleasantly surprised. I do plan to replace some of this, the owner will remove what I'd rather not use and use it in another property. I have made the bedroom more to my liking already.”
“When do I get to see that?”
“Soon.”
Drake went into the kitchen and opened the fridge – all the appliances were stainless. Grabbing something, he then shut the door and showed me the bottle. Patron. I laughed.
“It's like you know me or something.”
“All too well.” He grabbed glasses from the cabinet and poured us each a drink. We both had a sip. It was very cold. “How do you like the penthouse?”
“Uh... well....”
“Be honest.”
“It's not really my exact taste either, but it's much better than a hotel room.” There was a severe lack of color. But if he kept the place a while, that could be remedied.
“My thoughts exactly.”
Drake then gestured for me to follow him, and he led me to the bedroom. Immediately I could see what he'd changed. The drapes were a deep maroon. The bedding all black, and a dark gray armchair that most definitely did not fit the décor in the living room.
“This looks more like you.”
“Then we'll spend most of our time here.”
“That was gonna happen anyway.” I smirked over my glass. I sat on the edge of the bed and slid my heels off. Drake removed his shoes too and sat next to me. “So. I have a question.”
“Ask away.”
“What were you and Tommy talking about right before we left? It looked serious.”
“You.”
I rolled my eyes. “No shit. What, though?”
After a hesitation, Drake decided to answer. “I simply asked how you were. Dealing with your mother, and the internet issue. He suggested I ask you about your mother, and shared that his attorney and investigator found information on the man who exposed you, and that I should ask you about that as well, as it was too loud in the club.”
The info about Cole, the video asshole, had come in when I was at Breakdown. But I decided to reply in the order Drake mentioned things. “Well... my mom isn't getting any better, obviously. In fact, she's getting worse. Not as quickly as the doctors first estimated, but it still won't be much longer.”
“I'm sorry. If I can do anything-”
“You are. I'm here.” I grinned. “All I can do is brace myself for the inevitable. As for the video guy, that I can tell you more.”
“He's been identified?”
“Yes. The PI and the lawyer teamed up to threaten Under the Apron with a lawsuit over some not-so-legal practices of theirs in getting scoops, that the PI uncovered. So they finally handed over his information. He told me his name was Cole. Its Colton, Hughes. Apron paid him three fifty K for the video clip. Just the edit he made, not the entire footage. Which he obviously still has, and could theoretically do whatever he wants with.”
Drake glared. “Not if I have anything to do with it.”
He was sitting next to me but turned, so that one leg was bent and up on the bed. I put my hand on his leg and patted it a bit. “Chill out. We don't need him to disappear, okay? I won't get the rest of the video that way.”
“What do you mean?”
“I've decided to sue him for it.” I couldn't hold back my devious smirk. Drake's glare eased a bit. “Some of it is already out there, I might as well try to make something off it myself. Cole already got paid so now it's my turn.”
The glare returned. “The world has already seen five minutes more of you than they should have, why would you release more of it?”
“Clearly, there's a demand. Have you seen the views on that video?”
“Kandis.” Drake glared harder. I sighed.
“Okay, fine. I probably won't. Tommy didn't like the idea either. But at least I would own all of it and Cole wouldn't be able to release any more of it himself without getting into serious legal trouble.”
The glare eased once more. “Now that, is a smart play. It has been a few weeks now. Your story has died down, the unwashed masses have moved on to the next scandal. There's no need to create more for yourself.”
“Okay okay... I get it. You're right. I am suing him though. Tommy's lawyer is drawing up the paperwork and we're supposed to look at it Monday.”
“Good. I hope it works out for you.”
I downed the rest of my tequila and set the glass on the nightstand. “Thanks. So... are we gonna talk all night, or are we gonna test out the durability of this mattress?”I patted it with one hand for effect.
“If that's the activity you have in mind, you are far too overdressed for it.”
I stood up and peeled my dress off, revealing just my bra and thong. “Now who's overdressed?”
“Point well taken.” With an amused smirk, Drake stood up and unbuttoned his shirt, too slow for my taste, but obviously on purpose. Once the last button was undone, I didn't wait for him to slide the shirt off, grabbed him, pulling him closer and down to kiss me.
“Eager, are we?”
“We are.”
I found myself in the air and spun around, then planted on the bed. The whole thing didn't collapse, so that was a good start.
June 12
Santa Barbara
Valentine Home
--------------------
It was mid-day on Monday and both Tommy and I were home. We were waiting for Tommy's lawyer to send us a copy of the lawsuit she was filing on my behalf; I'd approved it earlier in the morning, before myclass at AnteUp. That was done, and Tommy's classes weren't until afternoon. So we had lunch by the pool, and had a swim afterwards. We'd just gone back inside to shower and change, when the gate buzzer went off. I was closer to the intercom, so I answered.
“Yes?”
“Ah, Ms... Kandis.” Some of the gate guards had a hard time remembering to just use my first name. I hated formality. “There's someone here to see you, he says he's your brother?” Nate? “Nathan Williamson?”
“Yes, he is. Let him through.”
“Yes ma'am.”
The young guard sounded confused, but not as much as me. The last time Nate and I spoke was over the phone a few weeks ago, and we argued. When my video was first leaked, he'd called and been on my side. Took care of talking to Debbie and Ray, said he'd keep his kids away from the mess. But a week or so later, his attitude completely changed. He'd called again, angry. He claimed that at first he hadn't realized how graphic it was, he thought it was just me naked and maybe kissing the guy, or mild foreplay type shit - my words, not his). Not actual fucking – those were his words. I asked what did he think 'sex video' meant? Then he laid into me. I was dumb, I was reckless, his adopted teenage daughter had found out about it and didn't understand. Nate continued yelling at me. I ended up screaming back, that he was almost as bad as the motherfucker who filmed me because he was blaming me and I was the one taken advantage of. He had no reply and I hung up on him. He tried to text me a few days later and I told him to eat shit. The next text was an apology. I had so much to deal with though that I couldn't add him to the list. I replied a few times but I did my best to keep him at a distance. I can only handle so much at a time.
It seemed like Nate had gotten tired of being brushed off and just drove his ass up here from West Hollywood. Tommy came downstairs from his shower.
“Was that the gate I heard?”
“Yeah. Nate's here.” I made a face.
“Oh. Shit.” Tommy knew about the argument and my avoiding him. “Should I go back upstairs, or do you want backup?”
“I don't know. Maybe just say hi and see how it goes?”
“Alright.” He came the rest of the way down and sat on the couch, still toweling off his hair. He'd stopped dying it since being off TV and all the green was gone. I missed it. I just stood a few steps from the door, waiting for the knock. There it was. I hadn't seen Nate in a few weeks, maybe two months or so, and hadn't spoken for about half that. Not awkward at all.
I opened the door, and Nate stood there with his arms crossed.
“Hi, bro.”
“Kinda wish I didn't have to be buzzed in, I was trying to surprise you.”
“I am definitely surprised. Well, come in.” I backed up so he could walk in. He did, and I shut the door. Tommy sat up straight on the couch.
“Hey man. Good to see you.” I scoffed to myself at Tommy's attempt to make this normal.
“Yeah, you too. Been a while, thought I'd come up for a visit. Hope I'm not interrupting any plans?”
“Not at all.”
“Nope, we're just kinda hanging out.” I plopped myself down on the couch next to Tommy. Nate took the chair. Tommy made a show of looking at his phone, then made a face.
“Shit... I was supposed to make a business call fifteen minutes ago.” He stood up. “Excuse me, I'll be in my office to take care of this. Lawyer.”
Both Nate and I nodded, and I gave Tommy a slight smile. I knew what he was doing. He saw that Nate didn't walk in full of piss and vinegar and decided to let us speak alone. Tommy gave me a nod, and walked down the hall to his office. I gave my attention to Nate.
“So. Here to yell at me in person?”
Nate sighed. “I hope it doesn't get to that. I was just done with being brushed off.”
“Well excuse me for not wanting to subject myself to being further berated.”
Another sigh. “Okay, I guess I deserve that. I'm sorry, okay?”
“Could you at least try to sound like you mean it?”
He closed his eyes a moment, I assume to calm himself. Looking at me again, his expression was different. “I'm sorry.”
“Okay. That I believe.”
“I've just been caught in the middle, you know? Mom and Dad didn't want to contact you, they thought you wouldn't speak to them. Me and Clarissa have been trying to protect the kids from everything, but...” Nate shook his head. “Carla found it anyway.”
“She... saw it?” Carla – yes, she has the same name as my mother – is a girl I met through my former social worker. Jennifer was Carla's worker too. She had been placed in the same foster home as the one where the father raped me at fourteen. The same thing happened to her, and Jennifer asked me to help them get the guy put in prison. It worked. In the process, Nate and Clarissa applied to be her foster family, and eventually adopted her. She's almost eighteen now, and way too smart for her age. I can only image what she thought if she saw Aunt Kandi getting railed.
“Yeah. She did. Do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a teenager from finding anything they want on the internet?”
“Actually, I do. Tommy's daughter is sixteen.” Taylor claimed she didn't see it, but judging from the way she'd been looking at me lately, I think she lied.
“Okay, then you get it. Anyway... she told me and I didn't want to hear about it, cause I sure the fuck didn't look at it... and I didn't know what to tell her. This is really your thing to handle, and you haven't even tried.”
“She could have called me herself.”
“I told her that. She was afraid to. I don't know why.”
“She probably doesn't want me to know she saw it. I wish she didn't... but I can't change that. So we deal with it.”
“I wanted you to contact her. But you wouldn't speak to me long enough for me to ask.”
I sat back against the couch, expelling my own sigh. “I know. You know I don't do confrontation well. Not with personal shit. And I already have so much going on, you know? With damage control over the video, and work, and Gail being sick, and-”
“You know what? I wasn't going to say anything about that, but I can't let it go. I'm glad you found your bio family and you got to know them, and it seems like you're close with your sister. I'm also really sorry about your mother, I'll make that clear up front. But...” Nate shook his head. “Just because you found them and have a relationship with them doesn't make it okay for you brush aside, abandon the family who was there for you when you needed it.”
I sat up straight again, just staring at him. All of a sudden his attitude over the last few weeks made sense.
“Are you serious? That's what you've been pissed at me about?” Nate shrugged, but a subtle nod was there. “You really think that's what's going on here? I abandoned you? Knowing goddamn well what that word means to me, that's what you think I did?!” If I had been upset with him before, now I was straight pissed the fuck off.
“Yes. It feels like you did. The kids ask why they don't see you. Mom and Dad don't hear from you. Neither do I. You got a mother and a sister, so you didn't need us anymore. Families don't work that way.”
“That is completely ridiculous! You're always gonna be my brother, okay? Gail and Coral didn't replace you, they're just added in. I just... I'm one person. I have a pretty demanding job on top of all of this shit, I can only handle so much. I can't fucking believe you're actually sitting there in front of me and acting jealous that I'm spending so much time with them because my mother is fucking dying!” I was screaming by the end. Tommy probably heard me from down the hall.
Nate's mood instantly changed, his tensed shoulders dropped. “What?”
“You fucking heard me. I told you about her cancer.”
“But there's treatment-”
“She refused. I told you that too.”
“You and your sister couldn't change her mind?” I just shook my head. “Shit... Kandi, I'm sorry. I had no idea it was that serious.... why didn't you just tell me?”
I shrugged. “I don't know. I have no idea what I'm doing, Nate. I've never dealt with anything like this. The more I talk about it, the more it real it is... and I don't how to handle it, if I even can.” I shook my head, and deep truth spilled out. “I didn't want to burden you guys with shit from my other family.” I purposely didn't use the word 'real.' They're all my real family, just in different ways.
“You're never a burden to me. To any of us. You haven't been since the day you were dropped off at our door with nothing but a backpack, and we talked about football.” I grinned at the memory. “I thought you knew that by now.”
“I didn't think you'd want to hear it.”
“I want to be there for you, like I have been since that day. You're shutting us out at a time when you need all the family you can get. Blood or otherwise.”
Sydney had said something similar weeks ago. It's true, I have a bad habit of door-slamming when shit gets hard.
“You walked in here ready to hang me over that video and ignoring you, now you're my best friend again?”
Nate leaned over, arms on his knees, I guess trying to get closer, make the conversation more intimate. “The video upset me because you put yourself in danger, then it seemed like you didn't care about upsetting everyone and didn't think it was a big deal, just brushing it off like nothing. It's not nothing, it's a massive violation.”
“I know exactly what it was, it's me it happened to. I'm not ignoring it. Tommy has a whole crew of lawyers and investigators on it. I'm actually gonna sue the fucker. We just haven't exactly issued a press release, you know?”
“Good... that's great, I'm glad you're doing something about it. I just don't want you to shut us out, Kandi. We love you and we're here for you. For anything.”
Again, Sydney's words echoed in my head. “I didn't mean to. I just... didn't think you'd want to be bothered with my other family's problems.”
“They're your family, so that makes them mine, too. It's not a bother, I do care.” I could only nod. I'd tried to keep them separate for the exact reason Nate was angry – I didn't want them to be jealous of my bio relatives. It never occurred to me that I could lump them all together into one family and have it all make sense. Everything my whole life has always been so fucking complicated.
“Okay. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you think I was leaving you out of things. I just... I'm drowning here. I don't know what I'm doing.”
“Then let me help you. I can't stop your mother from dying, but I can listen, and I can be here. Just let me back in.”
I forced a smile, but as soon as I got it out, it became real. “I think I can do that.”
Nate got up from the chair, and sat next to me, then pulled me close into a sideways hug. I leaned into it. I hadn't realized until just then how much I actually missed my brother.
I keep getting reminded that life is too short to hide from hard emotions and close myself off from people to avoid dealing with it. More and more I'm learning that it's almost never as hard as I think it will be.
July 14
Pittsburgh
Kandis' hotel room
-------------------------
The last month went by without much of note going down. Gail remained somewhat stable, still defying all the doctors predictions. She'd gotten slowly weaker, but still hanging with us. I keep hoping she gets to see Rise to Greatness, so she can see me become World Champion. I almost think she's holding on just for that. Neither she or Coral was ever a wrestling fan, but they know how much it means to me.
Tommy's lawyer filed my suit against Colton Hughes, for the rights to his footage of me with him. It was gonna take a few weeks to go through the system, so I didn't expect anything to happen on that front until after Rise. Fucking legal system moves like a glacier sometimes.
Tommy's kids had finally come over, with their mom. Things got discussed and cleared up for good, so that was one less thing to worry about. I'd also gone to Nate's and talked with Clarissa and Carla. Devin was just seven so he had little idea what was going on, thankfully. Carla asked a lot of questions, some I didn't really want to answer, but she and I had always been honest with each other, and she was nearly eighteen now so she could handle it. I think we came out of it closer, if that was possible.
In SCW, I was still taking up space in Selena's head. She was far too obsessed with my suggestion that I traded sexual favors for my number 40 spot. Everyone from Selena to reporters to even Drake had asked me if it was true. The only person who knows the truth is Tommy, and I'm keeping it that way. I like watching Selena squirm at the idea of me throwing her precious integrity out of the window to get what I want. It's to the point of hilarity now.
I was in Pittsburgh after Breakdown, the last one before Rise to Greatness. I'd been booked in a six-person tag with Ace Marshall and Ravyn Taylor as my partners, against Selena, Bree Lancaster, and Datura. I didn't give half a fuck about the match or my so-called team. I was just there to fuck shit up and fuck with Selena some more. It became chaos, obviously. At the end of the show it might have looked like Selena had the last 'gotcha' moment when she kicked me down... but the reality is that I had the bitch pinned first, except the ref was out and there was no one to count the fall. I wasn't going to let anyone forget that, least of all Selena.
The next morning I woke up, got dressed, started packing my shit. Normal stuff. Tommy hadn't come, he had Ante Up to deal with, and an appointment for his shoulder. I texted him good morning, and got back to my packing. It occurred to me that the next time I pack my shit leaving after a show, I could – no, would – be leaving with a huge belt. I'd have to remember to bring a bigger suitcase. I zipped the case up and set it near the door. All I had left to grab was a few small things that went in my bag. Other women might call it a purse but it looks more like a small duffel bag. I stuffed my phone charger, hairbrush, and body spray into it, then shoved my phone into my cleavage. Ready to go, I slung the bag over my shoulder. As I turned to the door, my tits vibrated. Ugh. I put the bag down and pulled my phone out. It was Coral calling. I tried to believe it was just to say hi.
“Heya sis.”
“Kandis. Are you home yet?”
“No, I was about to leave my hotel. Take off in an hour.”
“Shit...” She sounded very distressed.
“What's wrong? Mom?”
“She's not good. I called the nurses.”
Fuck! I was a five hour flight away. “How bad?”
“I got up to check on her and she wouldn't answer me. Like, she was awake but not there. Barely breathing. I think it's.... soon. Get here as soon as you can. You have to.”
“I can't make the plane fly faster, Coral. I can have him go to LA instead of Santa Barbara. I'll have to rent a car.. no. I'll call Tommy to meet me there. We'll drive right over.”
“Good thinking. So... six, seven hours?”
“Depending on traffic once I land, yeah. Are you there with her alone?” She knows I mean other than the nurses.
“No, Stella came.” That's Coral's best friend from high school. I'd met her a few times. I like her.
“Okay, good.” I grabbed my bag and suitcase handle, holding the phone with my neck. “I'm leaving my room now. Lemme call Tommy, okay? I'll be there when I'm there.”
“Okay. Be safe.”
Coral ended the call, and I returned my phone to my tits after I closed the door behind me. I paused in the hallway and took a deep breath.
Fuck.
* * * * * *
Five and a half hours later, I was exiting the plane at the private air strip at LAX. I saw Tommy waiting for me, he'd driven my SUV to meet me. Not bothering to go inside, because I didn't need to, I threw my bags in the backseat and went to the driver's side.
“Nope. I'm driving.”
“I can drive.”
“Maybe, but you're not. You drive like a maniac when you're upset and we don't need to wreck on the way.”
I relented. He isn't wrong. Without saying anything I went around to the passenger side. We both got in and he started the engine. I then called Coral.
“Kandis?”
“Hey. I'm in LA. We're leaving the airport now, Tommy is driving. We'll be there soon.”
“Okay.. okay, good. Mom got clearheaded for a while, she asked me where you were. I told her on your way.”
“She.... she asked for me?”
“Yeah. She did. I think she's waiting for you. Trying to.”
“Fuck. Okay. We'll be there as fast as is safe.”
I ended the call. I saw Tommy glance at me, he'd heard. “You okay?”
“No. Just drive.”
Thirty minutes later, Tommy parked in Gail's driveway. There were a few unfamiliar vehicles there, I assumed the extra nurses and Coral's friend Stella. In fact, as I open my door, I saw Stella outside. She hopped up from her chair on the porch and waved at me, then ran inside. Before we walked three steps up the driveway, Coral ran out. Her face was a splotchy mess. She stopped a few steps away from me.
“How is she?” Coral just shook her head. “I'm too late...?”
“I'm sorry... not long after you called....”
Goddammit!
I felt a heavy breath leave my lungs, then I was on my knees. I felt Tommy catch me from behind, and sat me down. Legs sideways, I just sat there, staring off into nothing. I couldn't see anything, everything was blurry. I was too late. I didn't get to see her one more time. I didn't get to say what I wanted to say. I've known her for years, after Jennifer gave me her contact information, but I'd only known her as who she really was – my mother – for a little over two years. It's wasn't enough. I never got to say thank you...
I just sat there with Tommy holding me, I don't know how long. Too numb to do anything but breathe.