Rise to Greatness 2023 #2
July 15
Los Angeles
Gail's House
------------------
I parked my SUV in the driveway that I had collapsed in just the day before. I barely remembered anything. I know I turned away when I saw the EMTs rolling a stretcher out of the front door. I know I somehow got to my feet because I remember hugging my sister. But I don't remember getting home. I couldn't bring myself to call Sydney. I hate that I left that task to Coral but I just couldn't function.
Gail – Carla – my mother... was dead. And I didn't get to see her one more time. I never thanked her for what she did for me. Upended her entire fucking life, just so I would live.
The only thing that gave me any shred of solace was that she never knew about the sex video.
Coral was waiting for me inside. There was another car in the driveway, an expensive looking BMW. Coral called me this morning and asked me to come over, there was a will, and a lawyer, and I needed to be present for the executing of whatever is in the will. I was surprised, I didn't think Mom had anything to leave behind, much less to me. Sitting in the driveway, the only thing I could think of was her house. But that should be Coral's, not mine in any part.
I sat, staring at the front door, my hands gripping the steering wheel. They were waiting for me, but I wasn't sure if I could really go in. The last time I was here, Mom was sitting up in her chair, talking and laughing with us. I'd be walking into that door for the first time without her there. Into the place where she died.
“Ugh! Stop it!”
I hit the wheel with both hands. I was being morbid and ridiculous. I made myself get out of the SUV and walk up to the door. Coral must have heard my door slam, because the front door opened in front of me.
“Hey sis. You made it.”
“Yeah... barely.” I walked in and immediately saw a middle-aged man in a decent looking suit seated on the armchair, a briefcase open on the coffee table. Obviously the lawyer. Coral went to the couch, and I followed, sitting next to her. The man offered me his hand.
“Good afternoon, Kandis Valentine I presume?”
I took his hand halfway, just the fingers, not palm to palm. “Yes, and you are?”
“Winston Kellerman, I am- was, your mother's attorney.” He drops his hand and I just nod. “Now that you're both present, we can start to sift through this.”
“You make it sound complicated.” Coral gives me a glance.
“To be quite honest, Miss McCarthy, it is. But I'll do my best to make everything understandable for you both.”
“Okay, I'll do my best to follow along, I'm not very good with legal things.”
I grinned, somewhat sarcastically. “Yeah, well... I've dealt with my fair share so I think I can keep up.”
Kellerman smiles. “Great. I'll start with the simple things. Firstly, as Miss McCarthy-”
“Please, call me Coral.”
“And I'm Kandis, we don't need to be formal here.”
“Very well. As Coral already knows... your mother's arrangements were pre-planned, and already being put into motion. Months ago, following her diagnoses, she arranged for a cremation, and put in writing her wishes to have no kind of funeral, memorial, service, anything of that nature.”
I saw Coral nod. Fine with me. I certainly didn't want to be around a lot of people I don't know and pretend to be okay and glad they showed up. Funerals always seemed so gross to me.
“Right, the crematorium called this morning. She's scheduled to be... done, tomorrow I think. And they have her urn already.”
“Good, I'm glad they contacted you. Moving on then.” Kellerman pulls a long paper out of his briefcase, the legal length kind, longer than regular printer paper. It has a cardstock backing. Unfolding it, he then adjusted the glasses on his face, and started reading. “Firstly, and again starting with the simple things, Gail McCarthy decrees that her home, the property it sits on, and all contents within are passed down to Coral McCarthy. This includes the vehicle garaged on the property, and all contents of said vehicle, specifically a 2014 Toyota Camry. And the VIN is listed for legality.”
Coral nodded, as if she expected this. I did, Coral had grown up in the house and only got her own place a few years ago, up til the last few months she stayed here to take care of Mom.
“She had talked to me about that already.”
“Coral, you are also left possession of Gail McCarthy's bank accounts, a checking and a savings. There's documents here stating the balance of each.” He pats the folder he pulled the will out of. Coral nodded, I'm sure she already knew about that, too. Kellerman then gave me a glance over the top of the legal paper. He then reached into his briefcase and produced another legal sheet.
“Here is where it gets a little complicated. This document here is an affidavit stating that Gail McCarthy and Carla Destrehan are one and the same.” I gasped. She fucking admitted it! “There are DNA test results between herself and her brother Corey Destrehan showing said relation. Also included are DNA testing results showing that Kandis Park Valentine is Gail, or Carla's, daughter.”
“Holy shit...” I couldn't stop myself from whispering my shock.
“I would save your exclamations for the end, I'm far from done here.”
I sat back. What else could possibly be in there that's more shocking than revealing her true identity?
“Uh, okay... I'll try.”
Kellerman smiled, then continued. “In the matter of Kandis' birth, there is another affidavit declaring your actual birthdate as October thirty-one, nineteen eighty-six. If you so choose, you can use this affidavit to petition the State of California to have this legally changed in your personal identity records.”
“I can do that?” I thought changing my name would have been nearly impossible, much less my birhday.
“You can petition. I can't guarantee it'll be granted. If this is something you'd like to pursue, I'm more than happy to assist.”
“Thanks... I'll, uh... think about it.”
Kellerman nodded, then flipped to another page out of the folder. “Here is where things are more complicated. I'll have to give you some background information before reading the legality in the will.” I nodded, thoroughly confused. “Many years ago, before Carla Destrehan left her home in Indiana, she and Corey were given a sum of money from their parents, meant to be a sort of joint college fund. Both Carla and Corey were listed as account holders. As you know. Carla left home for Los Angeles in... eighty-two, I believe. For a few years she still accessed the account on occasion, but for the most part she left it alone, as she wanted to make it on her own. Things became tough, she became homeless, and had no way to contact the bank to access any of the money, or even an account to transfer any into. And then in eighty-six, Corey stopped hearing from her.”
I knew most of this already, other than anything about some bank account. She'd never mentioned that to me.
“Over the years while searching for Carla, Corey continued making regular small deposits into the account, hoping to have a good amount for Carla if and when she was found. The last five or six years though, he'd given up searching for her, and largely forgot about the account, other than the yearly statements.”
“Okay... that's great and all, but what does that have to do with me? If Uncle Corey is on the account, then with Mom gone it's his.”
Kellerman tapped the paper on top of his file. “Not exactly. Several weeks ago, Corey visited Carla. He reminded her of this account, and they arranged to have his name removed from the account. This gave Carla full ownership of said account. With her passing... Kandis, this savings account now belongs to you.” Kellerman handed me a document. “This is a printout of the current balance.”
I took the paper, and scanned all the numbers. It looked like a yearly breakdown of deposits and interest earned in the last ten years. As I scanned the numbers got larger and larger, even after there were no deposits the last few years. At the bottom, the number next to “Current Balance” made my jaw go slack.
“Are you fucking serious? Sorry...”
“That is accurate as of yesterday close of business. I was sent it this morning.”
I stared at the number again.
Current Balance: $1,376,154.03
I made good money with SCW, but I'd never had that much money at once in my life. And no, I don't count Tommy's assets just because we're married. That shit isn't mine. But this? I stared at the numbers til they became blurry. Finally I looked up from the paper, turning to Coral.
“This was it. What Uncle Corey wanted to talk to her about in private.”
Coral nodded as I spoke. “He reminded her, and they wanted you to have it.”
I shook my head, turning to Kellerman. “Why would Corey do that? He could have had all of this himself.”
“I was told that he never intended to keep any of it, he'd saved it all this time for Carla. He was reminded about it by the yearly statement in the mail, and told her. They decided on this course of action together. All I need from you is an account number for transfer.”
“I... uh, yeah. I can get you that.” I couldn't take my eyes off the paper in my hand. Kellerman cleared his throat to get my attention. I looked up.
“There is one more thing. At the same bank where that account is, there is also a safety deposit box. It's been paid for all this time by a yearly draft from the savings account.” He reached into one of the pockets in the lid of his briefcase and produced a key. “The box and it's contents are also yours.” He handed me the key. It was deep brown, worn around the keyring hole. It looked like it had been through several levels of filth and hell. “I was told she carried this with her when she left home and kept it on a chain around her neck for years. There must be something very important in that box.”
I took the key, and wrapped my fist around it, sliding a finger through the ring to secure it.
“Thank you. I guess I have to make a trip to Indiana.”
“At your leisure. The box isn't going anywhere. You'll have to take this document with you.” He tapped one of the papers in the folder. “It'll all be clearly marked for you, these are your copies.”
“Thanks.” I didn't know what else to say, all of this had me overwhelmed. My mother died yesterday and now suddenly I'm a millionaire. That's sounds more impressive than it is, its just barely over one, but still. Kellerman rifled through some papers, then closed the folder.
“I believe that's everything. This folder is yours, Kandis.” He handed it to me, and I tucked the loose paper in my hands into it. Kellerman grabs another folder and handed it to Coral. “And this one is yours. It has legal descriptions of the property and the house deed, car title, that sort of thing enclosed.”
“Thank you.” Coral tucked the bank account statements he'd already handed her into the folder.
“Do you have any questions?”
“No.”
“Nothing I can think of.”
“Alright.” Kellerman stood up, and we followed. “If either of you think of anything, you both have a copy of my card stapled to your folders. I offer my condolences, and my best wishes.”
We shook his hand again and Kellerman left. Coral and I just stared at each other. The only question I had, Winston Kellerman couldn't answer for me. What the fuck was I supposed to do with all this money?
July 18
Santa Barbara
Valentine Home
----------------------
A few days later and I was still reeling from the meeting with Mom's lawyer and Coral. I'd done as Kellerman asked and got my bank information to him so he could arrange a transfer of the assets. Moving such a large amount of money takes time to be approved, so I didn't actually have it yet. But knowing it was coming was really fucking with my head. Tommy thought I was being ridiculous, why would inheriting a large sum of money be a bad thing? But he couldn't understand. He'd had money for a long time, thanks to earnings from the businesses he and David Helms had started something like twenty years ago and built up. Sure, David selling up and them having to split everything had taken a hit on Tommy's finances, but that was a few years ago and he's recovered since then. He'd been well off for so long that it seems like he forgot what it's like to have nothing. I don't even think he's ever had literally nothing, like I have. It was hard enough for me to adjust to being paid well in SCW and not having to scrounge for every dollar, or hope to sell a piece of art so I could pay rent or eat. This money... was a huge leap in circumstances and I was just overwhelmed. Tommy assured me he'd assist me with the best way to split it up and invest in different things, but I couldn't think about that. I had to lose a mother I only really had for a few eye blinks to get it.
Since the day Mom died, I hadn't slept well. No weird dreams that I could remember, I just couldn't sleep. The Tuesday morning before Rise to Greatness, four days after her death, I was asleep, having had the most restful night in days. I was gently woken up though by the feeling of a hand moving slowly up and down my body. I first felt it on my hip, as I laid on my side and knew Tommy was behind me. He slid his hand up my side and around to my front, up my shirt and grazing over my tit (the one he could reach).
I was awake now, but pretended to be still asleep to see what he would do next. He moved his hand down again, over my ribs, around my waist to my stomach, then lower, under the edge of my panties and then inside. I leaned back against him creating better access. This gave away the fact I was awake, but I didn't care anymore. He rubbed his hand slowly over my mound, making sure to stay over everything, not slipping into the slit. I couldn't keep my breathing normal any longer, and let out a shaky breath. I turned myself onto my back, and he pulled my panties down. I finally opened my eyes to see a grin and eyes full of desire. I wiggled my panties the rest of the way off, and in doing so realized that Tommy had started this prepared – he was already nude. I grinned back as he replaced his hand over my mound. He bent down and kissed me, slow and deep. At the same time the teasing down below turned into fingers inside me. Neither one of us said anything.
I tilted my head back and just let myself feel. The last few days – no, weeks – had been full of stress and it was like he knew I needed something like this. My breathing got heavier as he moved back and forth from kissing my mouth and my chest. His fingers never stopped working, and I raised my hips up off the bed, chasing that release. I was denied it at that moment though, suddenly he pulled his hand away.
My ass went back down to the bed and I opened my eyes, staring at him, silently pleading for him to continue. Instead, he kissed me again, then moved on top of me. Instinctually my legs fell open and he slowly slid inside me. Laying on me so that as much of our bodies were in contact as possible, propped up on his arms just enough to not crush me, he set a slow and sensual pace, kissing me deeply the whole time. I wrapped my legs around his, my hands gripping the back of his neck. Still nothing spoken, the only sounds our uneven breaths, along with my gradually increasing moans. The release I had been chasing minutes before snuck up on me, and all of a sudden my whole body spasmed, and I couldn't stop myself from screaming in pleasure and relief. I felt him tense up then shudder as he came two seconds after I did. He laid on top of me a minute or so, catching his breath, then rolled over beside me, keeping an arm draped over my waist. I looked over and smiled. He smiled back.
“Good morning.”
“That's what I call wake up service.”
“I just thought you could use a... gentle rousal. Distraction, hopefully help you feel a little better.”
“I feel fucking fantastic right now.” I smiled again. “You always know exactly what I need.”
“Comes with the territory of loving you.”
“Love you.”
Tommy kissed me one more time, then rolled away from me and got out of bed. He disappeared into the bathroom, I heard the shower. Mmm. A shower would feel great after that round. A few minutes later, Tommy came back into the bedroom and opened the closet.
“Going somewhere?”
“Yeah. Same place you are. Ante Up. You have a title match to prepare for, remember?”
I sat up and stretched. “Yeah, yeah. I know. I just really would rather stay right here all day, and go several more rounds with you.”
That got me a smirk. “As tempting as that sounds, you're not going to become World Champion by flexing your vaginal muscles.”
“You sure? That's what Selena thinks I did, anyway.”
Tommy shook his head. “That woman and her habit of taking a tiny suggestion and running with it a hundred meters.”
“It's hilarious, isn't it?”
“It is. And you're gonna make her eat every last word. But not if you aren't prepared. Come on, get dressed.” Tommy tossed one of my gym t-shirts at me. I laughed.
“Okay, okay. I'm getting up.”
After a quick shower, I was dressed and just about ready to go, getting my shoes on. Tommy was dressed and ready, sitting in one of the chairs near the window.
“Are we going to Toronto alone, or is Drake making the trip, too?”
“I actually don't know. But he is in town tonight, so I'll ask when I see him.”
“Oh, didn't know he was here. Its usually weekends.”
“Yeah, well, I'm obviously busy this weekend.”
Tommy laughed. “Yeah, I suppose you are. You know, it seems to have become pretty routine fairly quickly. The weekend thing.”
I snapped my head up after tying my shoe. “Yeah, it has. Is that bad...?”
“No, not at all. I didn't mean it that way. You're happy and having fun. More often than not I end up entertaining Jada on those nights.” He grins, and I smirk. I actually really liked the fact that they hooked up on the regular. It made me feel less weird about how often, or regular, I had been spending nights with Drake. “It's... comfortable. You're not out doing that random thing anymore, which I'm very much happ about. I know exactly who you're with and that you're safe.”
“Yeah, well... I just don't feel the need to find that much variety anymore. I have everything I want.”
“You mean, everyone.”
“Yeah.... yeah, I guess you can say that.” I looked back down to fix my other shoe, but really avoiding eye contact. I knew exactly why this routine kept me satisfied without outside entertainment, but that truth still resided in the back of my mind. I hadn't allowed myself to admit it yet. I didn't think I was ready to face the implications.
“I am saying that. It's pretty obvious, really. You don't need all of that extra... stimulation, because you're completely satisfied with the two you love.”
Once again, my head snapped up. I stared at Tommy like he'd just spoken Cantonese.
“I... what?”
Siting back comfortably, as if this was the most normal conversation in the world, Tommy put his hands behind his head and leaned back, crossing one leg on the other, ankle to knee.
“Am I wrong?”
Well. So much for keeping that filed away safely. “Uh... no. No, you're not wrong.” I made myself look up. “But, how did you... you saw that?”
“Of course. Had that pegged years ago. Why do you think I couldn't stand the guy for so long?”
“Uh... because we fought and he was a complete asshole to me for a while?”
“Well, yeah, that was part of it. But seeing how much that upset you, and how adamant you were about fixing it sold it. Of course I was gonna hate it, it made him a threat.”
I couldn't believe what I was hearing. After all these years... “But, that's not what you said. You said-”
“I know what I said. I wasn't exactly gonna admit the truth back then, was I? You and me were still pretty damn new. I wasn't gonna risk it.”
I just nodded. What he was saying made sense. I thought back over the last few years, and realized that Tommy was right. Even though I'd only recently recognized and slowly begun to let myself maybe admit it... he was right. There are two men I love. All of a sudden I felt ridiculous for not having seen it myself years ago. How much time did I waste?
“Kandis?” I realized Tommy was talking to me, and looked back up. “Does he know?”
I shook my head. “No... honestly, I barely knew, until recently.”
“You're kidding, right? It's been obvious to me for years.” He made a thinking face, then shrugged. “Then again, it took you a while to come to that conclusion with me, too.”
“You're the only reason I even know what it really is. I wasn't even capable of it until I met you. You fixed that part of me.”
Tommy sat up then leaned over towards me, a serious gaze into my eyes. “Hey. You were never broken, okay? Just afraid. All I did was show you there was no reason to be. And there still isn't.”
“So... this doesn't bother you?” I mean, we're literally discussing his wife having love for another man.
“You married me, right?” I nodded. “You always come home to me, right?” I nodded again. “Then whatever else you do or feel doesn't matter. In the end, you're still my wife.”
“Yes, I am. This, and you, will always be home.”
Tommy smiled, nodding at me. “I know.” I didn't know what else to say, so I just went back to finally tying my other shoe. Mid-knot, Tommy spoke again. “You should tell him.”
I managed to finish the knot before looking back up. “What? Seriously?”
“Yeah, seriously. I know I don't know all the details, because honestly I don't need to, but I know the general idea. All the beliefs he put away and boundaries he broke for you. It's got to be mutual.”
“You think so?”
“Listen... I've been in that place... I'd bet on it.”
I shook my head. “It's not the same. You've always believed in the possibility. He...” I shook my head again. I couldn't say it. But I knew, Drake never believed love was real, just a construct of manipulation. Similar to what I used to think.
“You changed, didn't you?” I lowered my head a little. It was crazy how Tommy said almost what I had been thinking. “Tell him.”
“I... I'll think about it. It's complicated with him. Always has been, more than you know.”
“Like I said, I don't want, or need, to know any of your details. As long as you're happy, I'm golden.” Tommy got up from the chair, and went to the door. “We're gonna be running behind in your training plan. Get that ample ass moving!” With a smirk he left the bedroom.
It was mindblowing enough that something Tommy said so casually had made me admit something to myself that I had been afraid of for a long time... much less wrapping my head around the fact that he knew the whole time. How fucking oblivious have I been living my life?
* * * * * {{ The Starmaker }} * * * * *
Despite the system shocking conversation in the morning, my training session at Ante Up went great. Both Tommy and Ashley ran drills and sparring matches with me, and I didn't blow my knee out, so that was a definite plus. Later in the evening, I made my way to the Starmaker, because Drake was meeting me there, and the plan was for me to go with him to his new condo. He'd come during the week knowing that I wouldn't be available for our usual weekend tryst. Tommy hadn't scheduled himself to work the club that night, but he decided to come with me anyway. I think he knew my head was all over the place and he wanted to sort of keep an eye on me.
Tommy and I were sitting at the bar, talking and joking with Jada. I was sitting to where I could see the door, waiting for Drake to arrive. I knew he was already in town, but wasn't sure when he was getting to the club. He liked to keep me on my toes like that. I'd had two gin and tonics, and that was enough to make me need to get up.
“I'll be right back, need the little whore's room.” Jada laughed at my joke.
“Need company?”
“Only if its you.” I gave her a smirk, and glanced sideways at Tommy. Lately Jada and I had taken to making jokes about finding each other hot and hinting at messing around. That hadn't happened of course, it was just for laughs. Tommy shook his head at us, as usual when we joked like that.
“What am I gonna do with the two of you?”
“Anything you want, baby.” I ran my fingernails across the back of his shoulders as I passed behind him. Jada laughed as she got up, and followed me down the hall.
Once in the ladies room, I took care of business and started to wash my hands. Jada finished shortly after me and took the sink next to me.
“You know, one of these days you and I are gonna make one of those jokes around Tommy and he's gonna take it seriously.”
“What? No he won't, he knows better than that.”
“Does he? Are you like... anti-pussy or something?”
I laughed. “What? No.”
“Got experience, then?”
I turned the water off and faced her. “That... would also be a no.”
“No interest, or...?”
“Jada. Are you trying to ask me if I like women?”
“Yeah, that's what I'm asking.” All of the amusement of our joking earlier was gone, she was dead serious.
“Uh... never thought about it, to be honest. Definitely never tried it.”
“But are you opposed?”
What in the bisexual fuck was going on here? “Opposed? No. I've always said I'll try anything once. Never had that particular opportunity.”
Jada looked me up and down and grinned. “Maybe you should think about it.”
She turned and exited the restroom.
Okay....
I waited a moment, then left the restroom, too. Jada was already back at her seat, saying something into Tommy's ear, so he could hear over the music. Whatever it was, he seemed to like, as he turned to her and smiled. I started to head back to my seat. When I was almost out of the hallway, I saw that Drake had arrived. He was standing near one of the support beam at the edge of the dance floor... and speaking to a very attractive young woman. Jet black hair, darker than mine. Skin-tight dark green dress and matching pumps. She was very obviously heavily flirting. One hand on her hip, the other on his forearm. Pushing her chest up slightly, but noticeable to me, because I do it to. And a wide smile, laughing at something he'd just said. He seemed to be enjoying her company, although not quite as interested in her as she was in him. Still... watching it left a rock in my stomach.
What the fuck?
Tommy, my husband, was sitting at the bar, talking and joking and openly flirting with the bartender, that I already knew he had a FWB relationship with, and that didn't bother me at all. If they'd started making out or even fucking right there at the bar, I'd probably just watch. But Drake, with some rando woman with her hand on his arm, getting him to grin at her like that?
Oh hell no.
What the fuck was wrong with me?
I shook my head and looked away, and went back to my seat. It didn't do any good, because my seat faced out, and I could still see Drake talking with that woman. Tommy must have seen the look on my face I was trying to hide.
“Something wrong, babe?”
“What? No.... nothing. Not at all. Except my glass is empty.”
Tommy glanced in the direction I had been staring, and nodded to himself. “I see. I'll fix that glass for you.” Tommy got up and went behind the bar to get my drink. He grabbed another beer for himself and Jada while he was up. He sat my glass next to me from behind, and leaned close to my ear to whisper into it. “Tell him.”
In reply, I chugged a good third of my gin and tonic. Maybe Tommy was right.
I suddenly thought of my mother. I'd known she was my mother for a little more than two years. I'd gone through every emotion with her. Anger, for lying to me. For what she did when I was a baby, abandoning me. Causing me to grow up the way I did, being subjected to the kinds of trauma that no child should have to endure. Acceptance, understanding that she did what she had to do to save me, and herself. The realization that even though I grew up harsh, I still grew up. I was alive because of her sacrifice. A different kind of acceptance, of her as my mother, and Coral as my sister, of the fact that I had a real family after all. I loved that, and I loved them.
But I never told her.
I finished the drink, nearly giving myself brain freeze in the process. But I had to move, act, before I lost my determination. I gave Tommy a look, when I caught his eye, I gave him a single nod. He grinned. Leaving the empty glass on the bar, I grabbed my clutch that I had stashed under the bar on the other side in my usual spot.
“Alright guys, I see my ride is here. See you tomorrow.”
“Good luck.”
Jada seemed confused at Tommy's parting words, but I just grinned.
I walked across the floor towards Drake, where the woman was still there speaking with him. He saw me approach and backed away from her a step.
“Kandis, there you are.”
“Yep. Been here. Came over as soon as I saw you.”
“I meant to find you at the bar, but I was sidetracked by my acquaintance here.” He gestures to the woman. “This is Maria, she works for one of my businesses in Las Vegas.”
Oh. I gave her a half-assed smile. “Hi, nice to meet you.”
“You too! Drake was telling me how this is your husband's place, and it's named after you somehow?”
“Yeah... yeah it is. Inside joke.” She clearly had no idea who I was, so it would have been pointless to explain.
“Its a really great place. I'm in the city visiting my brother, but I'll definitely have to take my boyfriend and friends here on a road trip, they'd love this club.”
Dammit. She was nice. And taken. “Glad you like it. The more people we can get here, the better.”
“As I said. Maria, it was nice to run into you here, but Kandis and I have a prior engagement to get to.”
“Oh, of course. I won't keep you. I'll tell Oscar you said hello.”
“Do that, please. Enjoy your evening” Maria left, and Drake gave his full attention to me. “Are you ready?”
“Ready as ever.”
* * * * *
Twenty minutes later, we were inside Drake's condo near Ledbetter Beach. He'd poured us each a drink, more gin and tonic for me, and whiskey for himself. We had changed into more comfortable clothes and sat out on the balcony that I had seen from the parking lot the first time I was here. I had been right, it's large, almost the size of an inside room. Most of it is shaded under a pergola, not that it mattered then, as it was night. The sky was clear, with many stars visible.
“Are you ready for your match at Rise to Greatness?”
“I've been ready to fight that bitch for over a year. I can't wait to shut her the fuck up and bring that belt home.”
“She does have some choice words for you on television. Believing rumors.”
“That was the point. Distract her with bullshit so she underestimates me. She has no fucking clue what I'm gonna do to to her, to become World Champion.”
“That will be a magnificent sight to see.”
I had my opening. “Are you coming to Toronto to watch?”
“Of course. I wouldn't miss it for the world.”
I had to smile over my drink. I hoped he would, I felt like I needed both Tommy and him there for support. “That means a lot to me, thank you.”
“My being there in person?”
“Of course. Watching on TV? Millions of fans do that. Thousands of people will be in the arena. But I only care about two.”
“Your husband and myself?”
“Exactly.”
“Do you place me in that high of a regard?”
I set my glass down on the side table between our chairs. There was my other opening.
“Yes. I do. The highest.”
Drake set his glass down too and turned in his chair to face me directly. “The highest? I find that hard to believe, you have a husband.”
“Yes, but that doesn't mean I'm not capable of seeing someone else in the same way.”
Drake squinted his eyes at me, in the way he does when he's trying to work out my meaning between the lines. “I remember when you thought yourself incapable of looking at anyone in such a high regard that you would willingly marry them. You had such an unfavorable view about relationships and romanticism that nearly rivaled mine. Much has changed since we've gotten to know each other, it seems.”
“Very much. I kept everyone on a physical level, with no feelings involved. You... wouldn't even get close to anything physical.”
“Until you saw that as a challenge and eventually broke me down.” He smirked.
“Toughest challenge of my life.” I smirked back. “Well, until now.”
“The title match?”
“No... this conversation.”
Drake gave me the eye squint again. “What do you mean?”
“Well...” It was now or never. “As you know, my mother died last week.” He nodded, compassion in his look. “I had known her for a long time, but only as who she really was for two years or so. I knew she was dying for months. I had time to tell her everything I wanted to say, everything I should have said... how I felt. But I kept putting it off. She had defied the doctor's prognosis for so long that I had myself convinced she would still be here after Rise, and I could take the time during the break to sit with her, stay at her place with my sister, Have those talks.” I shook my head. “But that didn't happen. She died before I even got to see her one more time. I missed my chance. I'd like to think she knew that I was grateful for what she did, what she sacrificed for me, that she knew I loved her as my mother. But I don't know that. I didn't get the chance to actually tell her, in direct words.”
“You've told me how you became close to her, I believe she knew.”
“Maybe. Probably. But I'll never be sure. And it's my own fault, for being so comfortable with keeping things to myself, because I think it'll be too hard, or I'll be too exposed, or worse... it won't be returned. But...” I shook my head again. The idea of this entire conversation terrified me less than twenty-four hours ago, but I was now convinced it was necessary and I couldn't go another day, another hour without getting it out. “Life is too fucking short for that. It's taken me all this time, all my life, to realize that the more we keep things to ourselves, the worse it is when the choice to speak is taken away from you. I'll never get to see my mother's reaction to telling her what I should have said, and I'm not going to let that happen again, with anyone else.” I turned my chair to face Drake's directly, and scooted it closer, so I could reach over and grab his hand. He looked down at it oddly, but let me, before looking back up at me. “I know there's a chance you can't, or won't, accept it, or come anywhere close to the same, but I'm not letting one more day go by without knowing that you know... I love you.”
For a second or two, there was no reaction whatsoever, and I wondered if I had finally completely broke him. But then Drake looked down at our hands together, and squeezed. Without looking up, he spoke softly.
“How long?”
“I don't even know. Years. Maybe even before you gave yourself to me.” That made him look up. “I just always knew I was fascinated by you.”
“Just as I have always been fascinated by you. Could never resist you, no matter how hard I tried. And believe me... I tried.”
“I know you did. I'm persistent though.” Normally I would have smirked flirtatiously there, but this was not the time for that.
“That you are.”
“Even though I knew, and still know, your opinion on that kind of thing. Pointless and only good for mindgames, but-”
“What makes you think my view on that subject isn't one of the changes that have occurred since we met?”
“I... you haven't said...”
“You haven't asked. Kandis... every single barrier I had built around myself, you found a way to tear down. No one else has ever been able to do that. I thought the night I went to you in Vegas, made my feelings clear. If I am mistaken, allow me to clear that up right now. I love you, as well.”
I couldn't breathe for a moment. “Shit.... I didn't... think that...”
“For what other reason would I have come back to you?”
Without stopping to think about it, I practically leapt out of my chair, and settled myself in Drake's lap, my legs hanging on either side of his feet barely touching the ground, and dropped the biggest, deepest kiss on that man I could possibly give.
We were done wasting time.
ON CAMERA
The scene opens to Kandis seated in the middle of a hotel room bed, head thrown back as she laughs heartily.
Oh. My. Fuck. Selena.
You actually fell for it.
You heard my one suggestion that I did something to get the number forty spot given to me, and you picked that up and ran it, doll!
Kandis laughs a little more, then motions her hands in the air as if calming someone down; the someone is herself.
Okay, okay... I'm okay.
Man... you really went in for that with your whole heart, didn't you? Because how dare I do anything underhanded – or under the table, am I right? - to get a spot that is supposed to be handed out by luck? To make sure that I have the best chance I could get to put myself in the position to be the main event of Rise to Greatness?
How fucking dare me, right?
Kandis laughs some more, but checks herself.
Listen. For the record... I never once said I fucked anyone to get that number, nevermind that the someone was a member of the board. I have no fucking clue where you got any of that from, but it wasn't my mouth. What I actually said – once – was... I might or might not have offered some oral encouragement. Now look, I know you're a lesbian, you're married to a woman, so maybe the reference went over your head.... but the phrase was talking about a blow job. You know, the thing a woman does with her mouth to a man's penis?
By the way, my clearing up that misconception of yours is not in any way me admitting outright that I did anything to buy that forty. I just wanted everyone to understand that you heard what I said, then listened to backstage rumor and decided to run with the most outrageous scenario you came across, just so you had one more thing to scream “integrity!”about.
Kandis shakes her head.
I still can't believe how fucking gullible you are, Selena. I said what I said to fuck with your head, but I had no idea you were gonna take it this far. All of a sudden, instead of – hypothetically – offering a BJ to switch a number, I seduced and fucked a board member, or maybe even Mr. D himself! I'm ruining the sanctity of the Flame! The prestige of World Championship! I'm teaching your daughters to be whores!
Kandis laughs one more time.
Holy shit, Selena, I have never seen someone go so far off the deep end over what I intended to be a throwaway comment as you have.
Let me make this clear right now. I don't give half a fuck what you tell your daughters. I can tell you what I told my seventeen year old niece and my fifteen year old step-daughter though, after some asshole recorded me having sex with him and then leaked it to the world. What I said was... sometimes people in this world will do anything and everything they can to break you down and hold you back. And when that happens... sometimes you have to fight back by doing anything and everything you can to rise up.
In my case.... I set a mindgame trap, and you fell directly into it. You've been stuck in that pit of assumption and sanctimonious preaching for weeks, and I am fucking sick of it!
Even more than that, the fans are sick of it, too! You've heard them, since before the Flame, but even louder afterwards. More and more of those people you have pandered to for years no longer believe in you. The “No we don'ts” have been getting louder ad louder, along with the boos. I know you've heard them. I certainly have. Just like I heard the cheers when I threw Gavin Taylor out of the ring and earned my right to face you. I never expected to hear those for me, but the more I thought about it, the more it made sense. You've been screaming for over a year how SCW needs change, and the people want change, and you are the person to make it happen. The so-called Face of SCW, the only one capable of making everyone fall in line. Yet more and more, the fans have turned on you, doll. You seem to think it's because the people don't care anymore, about integrity, or hard work. That they don't want the kind of change you're trying bring about because they'd rather be entertained by my kind of content.
But you're wrong, Selena.
Kandis wags her finger in a 'no' motion, a smirk plastered on her face.
The people do want change, they're sick to their fucking eyeballs of you! Your arrogance, your ego, and oh my fuck your hypocrisy. The one thing you are right about though is that they no longer care... about you. They remember that I was supposed to challenge you over a year ago, and they remember that I didn't back out on purpose, I didn't hide from you or duck you.. I fucking blew my knee out! Do you think I wanted to sit on the sidelines for eight fucking months, watching you week and week out, prance around with that title that should have been mine, continue to preach then act the hypocrite in the same show? No one was happier than I was when you had your ass handed to you at Rise to Greatness last year! I thought maybe SCW would finally move away from the kind of high and mighty bullshit you set the standard for. But then along came Owen fucking Cruze and his brand of holier-than-thou shit. Then Kim shook things up and I had a chance to take what I deserve, but I was fucked out of it by a stupid rule and a goddamn rookie who tucked his dick between his legs and left. We ended up with another new champion in Josh Hudson, and while he was never my favorite person in this company, at least I knew that when he opened his mouth, everything he said was the truth.
Enter Owen fucking Cruze again, and his retirement at age thirteen... sorry, twenty three. Suddenly the World Championship was vacant, and I saw my shot. Unfortunately, so did you. We were both put into that tournament, and if it hadn't been for Adam Allocco, you and I could have had this match at the Flame. You came in tits blazing, screaming about integrity again, losing your fucking mind about Kim and her Trios cash in, accusing her of making every other title seem unimportant. And you took it upon yourself – once again – to be the savior that you thought SCW needed, yet it seems like no one really wants. That's when it all started to fall apart for you, that's when the SCW Universe realized just how sick of your rhetoric they really are. I could have ended all of their suffering had I made it to the tournament finals, but that wasn't to be. Adam took care of that. If I believed in any god, I would thank them for the favor, because now I get to shut you the fuck up on the biggest stage in wrestling.
Kandis shrugs, almost lackadaisically.
But, since there is no god, I'm going to give that thanks to Adam. He went to the finals, he took one for the team when you beat him and became World Champion again. And this time, that match between you, I was happy to see you as Champion. I needed you to be the World Champion after I won the Flame, Selena. It had to be you.
I need you at your most pompous, your most self-righteous, and your most hypocritical, because it will make it that much better when I put this company out of the misery of seeing you walk around misrepresenting SCW. For all your talk about integrity.... you have a really shitty way of being an example of it yourself. In fact, the reason you are World Champion right now at all, is because you didn't stand up to your own fucking ideal. You got past Ace Marshall in the tournament by disqualification. If you were truly driven by this integrity you speak of, you wouldn't have accepted that. Kim's Chaos match was enough to send you into a hissy fit, but you stood back and said nothing about advancing this way? You getting a free pass to the finals instead of showing your integrity and demanding the match to restart, or demand a rematch, or... anything.
With another shrug, Kandis chuckles a little bit, trying not to fall into full blown laughter like earlier.
But you know, no one should have been surprised. You have a history of just accepting things like that, don't you? You wanted to take everyone on a trip down memory lane, well now it's my turn. Retribution last year. Double Jeopardy. You remember it, you brought it up. You talked shit about my claim that I was the only one not pinned in the match meaning I should get the next shot, you think that was bullshit. Do you know what I think was bullshit? How about the fact that Holly Adams drilled you with a chair and then dragged your unconscious ass over Autumn Valentine to make sure that you got the fall? She wanted to fight you, she wanted to become champion by beating you, and with that chair shot she almost fucking did it. But what about when you realized what happened, how Holly won her match and got herself into the Double Jeopardy finals? You can't try to gaslight me about how that went down, I was fucking there, at ringside, watching it all unfold. You happily continued on, fighting the good fight, defending the championship with all of your grit!
Nevermind the fact that Holly Adams handed you the damn pass to the finals. Are you seeing a patter here?
We can go back even further than that. Body, Heart, and Soul. You technically should have been DQ'd due to Kim Williams interfering and attacking Holly. Whether or not you asked her to or wanted her shouldn't matter. Rules are rules, right? Let's go back even more. End of the Year Special 2021. You literally lost the damn match by DQ, because you hit Holly with the belt! You didn't mean to... but you did. But, since you lost by DQ, you retained. And you just.... accepted that. No demanding the match restart, no demanding an immediate rematch.
I could go on, but I don't want to start to bore people. The fact though, is that deep down? You are exactly like I am. You'll take the win any way you can get it. You just won't admit it, instead you make a stink about it after the fact, on the following show, so you can save face. To protect your reputation.
Kandis laughs once again, this time sarcastically.
Fuck your hypocrisy, your false integrity, and reputation.
Do I look like someone who gives a fuck about reputation? If anyone else in this company would have been caught on film having wild sex and it got leaked to the internet? They'd likely never show their face on screen again. That, or they'd hold some crybaby press conference apologizing. For being caught doing what they did, for letting their fans down, for embarrassing the company. Well, maybe Adam wouldn't do that, he'd probably be proud. Point is... did I do any of that? Did I come out here acting like I felt the need to save face? Am I ashamed? Fuck no! I started the rumor of buying the number forty spot myself, for fucks sake! I couldn't give a tenth of a fuck what almost anyone on earth thinks of me, save two people. And both of them back me on this, so let me give you this little piece of wisdom, Selena, and maybe you'll finally understand why I do the things that I do, and why so many people are turning away from your rhetoric.
Kandis leans forward a little, as if sharing a deep secret.
In this business, if you want to get everything that you want, if you want to be as successful as you possibly can? You can't have a sense of shame. You can't worry about nonsense like reputation. The only thing you can worry about, focus on, do... is anything and everything that gets you closer to your goal.
When I came back in December, I had one goal and I made it very clear. I wanted my World Championship match. I did anything and everything I had to do to get it. And here in Toronto, in the Rise to Greatness main event... I am going to do anything and everything I have to do to beat you and win it.
You can threaten me with beatdowns, but you don't have the tits to do it. You can threaten me with embarrassment, but you can't embarrass the shameless. You can bring up ancient history and Tag Team Title match results from a few years ago as if that has any bearing whatsoever in what's gonna happen between us in that ring, none of that matters. You want to brag that through all of that, the Tag Title switches that I never pinned you? Just remember bitch, that you never pinned me either. Or was everyone supposed to just forget that fact?
Kandis gives a smug smirk.
Here's something I'm sure no one forgot, and if they did, I'll remind them. Last Breakdown, in the middle of the clusterfuck that was that six-person tag match? I had your ass down, Selena.
I. Pinned. You.
The referee was out so it wasn't official, but the fans saw it. Fuck, the fans counted it! Its what they want to see, whether you want to admit it or not. They're just as tired of your bullshit as I am. You have screamed about integrity while showing none yourself for too goddamn long, and fucked around with the patience of SCW too much.
Now it's time to find out.
The Face of SCW is going to be shattered by a Starmaker and this company will be rid of everything it's been sick of for over a year. SCW may not get integrity with me at the top... but they'll get something far better.
Authenticity.
Kandis puts her hands up and gestures up and down her body, showing that she is who she is, and nothing else.