Under Attack 2020 #1
The day after our little dinner party, I stayed home to work on some art. Normally I'd have gone to the gym to work on my ass, but I didn't want to be there when Tommy had Tish go in to be interviewed for the GM position at Ante Up. She was nervous, she thought her lack of wrestling knowledge would hold her back. I told her she wouldn't be expected to try to teach students something she didn't know, the General Manager was just meant to run the day to day activities of the whole place. She seemed to be less nervous after that, but the morning of, she texted me and it seemed like the nerves were back. It didn't make a difference though, Tish called me after leaving Ante Up and told me Tommy had offered her the job pretty much on the spot. I had a feeling that was his intention all along and he just went through the motions for appearances. I wasn't gonna ask though, my girl got the job! Now she had to move up here, she didn't want to make that drive every day. But she knew that going in.
Breakdown that week was interesting. Tommy and I weren't booked but we both made sure people knew we were there. Tommy got a little payback on Xander and took some shots at David at the same time. And me? Well, Peyton Rice had an idea that I actually liked – she wants Under Attack to have its traditional Elimination Chamber, and have a shot at a title up for grabs. I was all over that shit, declaring I was in, even before anything official was said. Any chance I get to kick her ass, I'll take it. The potential for a title shot is just a cherry on top.
October 4th
Santa Barbara
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We'd got back from the house show loop Saturday night since it was an afternoon show, a roughly four hour flight, but time zones exist. Around noon on Sunday, I was at The Starmaker club, Ashley and Thomas were there too, and a cleaning crew, cleaning up from the night before. Thomas was in one of the offices doing paperwork, while Ashley and I were behind the bar restocking beer and liquor bottles, stacking clean glasses, that kind of shit. We made small talk, things had stopped being weird a few weeks ago, mainly because he stopped acting like anything was different. We had a day, no big deal. Yeah, I'd catch him looking at me oddly sometimes but that's to be expected. I mean, have you seen me? But this day had been normal so far. We talked as we replaced almost-empty liquor bottles with new ones.
“So hey, I heard about yer friend from yer old gym getting on at Ante Up.”
“Yeah, isn't it awesome? You know Tish, she trained with us.”
Ashley nodded. “Yeah, I remember. She's got a stiff kick, almost as hard as yers.”
“Well we did do kickboxing together.”
“Right, right. But yeah, its great. Things are kinda chaotic there right now, it'll be good to get someone new in but Ah already know. Can tell the others she's good people.”
“Thanks. I've known her a long time, she's the right person for this, I know it.”
“When's she starting then?”
“Not sure. She's gotta find a place up here. I think she's looking at one tomorrow. She's already quit Kix. Told her boss to go fuck himself. He really is an asshole to her.”
Ashley laughed. “Wish Ah coulda seen that.”
“Me too.” I laughed along. “I really only kept going there cause of her and this other guy I'd do weights with, Brady. Shit... I should ask him to come up here to train.” Brady and I used to fuck around too, he's a good dude.
“Gonna steal all of Kix' workers as well as clients then?”
“I might.”
Done with the liquor, I grabbed a box of new bottles that we didn't need. “I'll bring these back to the store room. Be right back.”
Ashley nodded, and I went down the hall with the box. I put the liquor away where each one went on the shelves. As I was doing that, I heard voices from the main bar. I assumed Tommy had come in, since the club was currently closed. When I went back out though, I saw Charlotte, his daughter, instead. She was leaning on the bar as she and Ashley talked. They looked a little too friendly and maybe flirty for my liking, considering I was supposed to be distracting the man from exactly this. I thought he'd given up on her, but what I was watching here said otherwise. I listened for a minute.
“-not sure. Ah just know he isn't here.”
“Oh. He's usually here on Sunday. But it's not all that important, I just wanted to run something by him. At least I get to talk to you for a few minutes.” She smiled. If Tommy saw it, he'd lose his shit.
“Silver lining, eh?”
“Definitely. Things going good here then?”
“Well, Ah'm still helpin' out, so yeah.”
“Between training, right?” Ashley nodded. “Getting any better?” She smiled again, flirty. This was bad.
“Tommy an' Kandis say so.”
“Well, they know their shit, so if they say so then you must be.”
Ashley grinned, and leaned on the bar towards her. “Maybe you could come by the gym sometime and see?”
“Maybe! Dad doesn't usually like me around there though, I'd have to go when he's not there.”
“Prob'ly a good idea.”
Yeah, no. This has to stop. I took a deep breath, time to work. I walked back to the main room, and behind the bar. Both Charlotte and Ashley stood up from the bar when they saw me.
“Hey doll, how's it going?”
“Hi Kandis! I was just about to ask if you were here. I was looking for Dad but Ashley says he's not here. Do you know where he is?”
“Yeah, he's at Ante Up working on some paperwork. I think whatever he needs ready for when Tish starts.”
“Oh, he hired someone? For what?”
“Yeah, General Manager. She's a friend of mine, knows her shit.”
“Awesome news. I'm glad things are starting to come together there, I know he's been stressed about it.”
“He has been, but I think it's starting to level out.”
“Good, he needs things to start going right. Anyway, I guess I'll go try to catch him there. Thanks! Good talking to you guys.”
“You too.”
“Yeah, good t'see ya.”
Charlotte waved before leaving. After the door closed, Ashley leaned on the bar and sighed.
“What? Did I miss something?”
“Not really. Nothing t'miss. Nothing at all. That's the thing. Nothing.”
“Okay.... I'm gonna need you to explain.”
He sighed again before looking up at me. “Well, you know how we'd been talking and whatnot?” I nodded. “Right... so it just seems like every time Ah think Ah might have an openin', she either brings up Tommy, or some other bloke she's been talkin' to, went out with.” He shakes his head again. “Can Ah ask ya a question?”
“Sure.”
“D'you think maybe she's tryin' t'like... I dunno, either put me off, or make me jealous?”
“Those sound like two different things.”
“They are. Ah'm askin' ya which one ya think it is.”
Oh. I shrugged. “Fuck if I know. Maybe she just has no idea you like her like that and she's just telling you things she'd tell any other friend.”
“Any other friend... that's just great...” Ashley nodded, the action and his words heavy with sarcasm.
“But then again, what the fuck do I know? I'm thirty-three years old and in my very first real relationship. So maybe don't listen to me, I'm far from an expert in this kind of thing. My expertise lies elsewhere.” I smirked. He did too a bit.
“Yeah, it certainly does.” There were a few seconds of silence and eye contact that would have been weird if that kind of thing bothered me. He then shook his head, as if clearing a thought away. “Ah dunno. Maybe Ah'm just overthinking, readin' too much inta things. Maybe... I just needta relax...”
He gave me a look I'd never seen from him before, but had seen from countless men in my life. I think I hid my shock at the blatant reference to our one fuck pretty well – I had propositioned him under the premise of sex being a relaxation technique. I mean, it is. But I had other reasons. I grinned. “Maybe you do... why don't you let me know.” I gave him a wink and left the bar, heading down the hall to Tommy's office.
I got inside and shut the door, then leaned against it. Fuck. Tommy was gonna owe me for this.
October 7th
Philadelphia
----------------
Well, things have certainly become interesting in SCW. First of all.... there's no World Champion. Yeah, you heard me. Mr. White Knight himself David Helms done got himself hurt and had to give the title up. Pardon me while I wipe away a tear.... wait, I can't even pretend to give a fuck. On the heels of that, both Bree Lancaster and Tommy had questions, obviously. Katya made it easy... they would face each other for an Interim World Championship, to then be decided once ol' Dave was ready to return. And then on the heels of that, Bree decided to throw everything she ever said about herself and keeping her word out the motherfucking window when she speared the shit out of Tommy! I knew he shouldn't have trusted that cunt. That attack fucked his ribs up and ended up costing us the Tag League match against Jordan Majors and Cookie. Those two bitches need a reality check, I just wish it would have come from us. I heard that Knots said he blamed Bree for our loss, since she hurt Tommy, but nah. I blame David Fucking Helms. His stepping down is what pissed Bree off. That old man should have known better than to think he could waltz back in here and compete at a high level without getting hurt.
Fuck!
Well, it's only two matches and four points, we're not too deep in the hole. We can still make points and win this thing. Maybe.
After the match, we got to the back and the trainers were all over Tommy. He'd gotten knocked to the outside and that was what made him unable to get back in fast enough to break the cover when Jordan dropped me. They poked and prodded him and declared nothing was broken. All the prodding only made him feel worse though. They gave him an icepack and sent us on our way. In our locker room, Tommy sat on the floor and leaned against the wall, holding the icepack to his side. I sat next to him.
“Do you trust those medics?”
“Not usually. Bur I don't think they're wrong this time. Xander made me feel worse than this and he didn't break anything. Bree sure the fuck didn't break me!”
“Just bad timing I guess, right before our match.”
“Yeah....” Tommy shook his head, annoyed.
“You know, I always had a feeling that you shouldn't have trusted her.”
“Why didn't you say something?”
“I didn't want to be like that, you know? Try to tell you what do to, who to be friends with or whatever.”
“I wasn't trying to be friends with her. I was trying to get my fucking title shot.”
“Well, you got it. You don't need to play nice with her now. She obviously isn't.”
“Obviously.”
He took a deep breath and adjusted the icepack. “Are you sure you're okay?”
“Yeah. Fine. I'm just pissed Dave found a way to avoid me.”
“Hey, you heard him, maybe you did this. Last week.”
“Maybe. Or maybe it was already done by Xander by the time I got there. Who knows, he isn't even revealing what it is.”
“Then don't worry about it. One less obstacle in your way to that title, babe.”
“Right. Then he'll come back after some miraculous recovery and come after me. Or her.”
“You. Because you're gonna win. You beat her once.”
“No I didn't. Hodges knocked her out, I'm not gonna claim that.”
I sighed. “Okay, fine. But you can. I know that.”
“I can. But hey, what about you? The chamber.”
“Yeah, what about it?”
“Nervous?”
“Fuck no! I wanted to be in the thing as soon as Peyton suggested it. I'm tired of being seen as just your partner. Not that I don't love it, but-”
“No, I get it. You should have your own opportunities. You deserve them just for putting up with my shit.” He smirked.
“Yeah, that's totally why I stick with you, to get sympathy bookings and title shots.”
Tommy looked at me with an eyebrow raised, then laughed. “And I thought it was the sex.”
I scoffed. “Please. I can get that anywhere. You know that.”
We both laughed. He adjusted the icepack again. Shit.
“Maybe you should take a warm shower instead of using that thing.”
“You're just trying to get me naked.”
“Usually... but I'm serious. I think heat will help it more than cold.”
He looked down at himself, then tossed the icepack aside. “Yeah, I think you're right.”
We got up, and headed to the shower. Under normal circumstances we'd have a lot of fun in there, but the night wasn't normal and oddly for me, I wasn't in the mood for fun. I just helped him scrub things he couldn't reach without straining his side, and after we were done, we left, even though the show was still ongoing. There was no reason to stay.
October 10th
Los Angeles
----------------
The day after Breakdown, I got a text from Ashley. He said while he could use some 'relaxation time' he thinks Tommy needs it more and he'd wait his turn. I told Tommy about it, both the conversation at the club and the text. He told me to do whatever I needed to do with him to keep his attention. The more he messed with me, the less he'd want to mess with his daughter. Cause that would just be awkward, right? I agreed. Guess I still wasn't off the hook there.
SCW had given Tommy the house shows off because of the rib situation, and me with him, I guess just cause we're a thing? Either way, we got home Thursday afternoon. Tommy got checked by his doctor, couldn't be too cautious with a World Championship match coming up, right? Everything was fine, just sore from the impact of the bitch's shoulder.
Saturday, I drove to Hollywood to see Sydney and Uncle Corey. He was still in town, he'd decided to stay with Sydney the rest of the month. We had lunch and caught up. Sydney asked a million questions about SCW and Tommy, since she had seen the show. Which then required me to explain things to Uncle Corey, who knew fuck all about wrestling. The conversation then shifted to Tommy and my other family he'd met two weeks prior. I told him they enjoyed meeting him and his company.
“Well, is there anyone else important to you that you think I should meet?”
“Only one comes to mind, really. Gail McCarthy.”
“And who is she?”
“She's the woman who was my mother's friend on the streets. She found her dead, with me alive in her arms. She flagged down the first cop car she saw that morning... and here I am.”
Uncle Corey and Sydney looked at each other, then both smiled at me.
“She's an angel. I'd love to shake her hand.”
“Me too! You never told me you knew who saved you.”
“It never came up. But yeah, after that the authorities helped her out, got her in touch with this shelter. She works for them now, in Los Angeles.”
“Then it's settled. We should meet her. When do you think you could set something like that up?”
“Actually... she's working today. We could just drive up there and walk in.”
“Really? That easy?” Sydney seemed skeptical.
“Sure. I go there from time to time to visit. We've kept in touch, she knows I found you guys, had the DNA test and all that.”
“Let's do it.”
So, we did it. Uncle Corey and Sydney climbed into my car and I drove them up to the Los Angeles Homeless Care Center, the name of the shelter Gail worked. I hadn't called or anything so I decided to go in first, to make sure she was actually there, and wasn't very busy. I walked in, and a young man was at the desk. He looked up at me and smiled.
“Good afternoon. How can we help you?”
“Hi, I'm here to see Gail McCarthy, is she available right now?”
“Hmm. I'm not sure. Do you have an appointment?”
“Appointment? No. I just come to visit her every now and then. Tell her it's Kandis.”
He smiled again. “Alright. Gimmie two minutes.” He got up and went down the hall that I knew was behind the little office he was sitting in. Less than two minutes later, I see Gail coming through the door. She smiled when she saw me, and came around to the hallway door, kinda like at a doctor's office, to greet me.
“Kandis! It's been a while since you've come by.”
She hugged me. I got that same feeling I always got when she did so, a comforting, almost family-like one. “I know, I'm sorry. Things with work have been so ridiculous, then I moved, and-”
“Wait, you moved? Where?”
“Oh, not that far. Santa Barbara. To my boyfriend's place.” It's been over a year and saying that word still feels weird. Gail smiled.
“Oh that's wonderful! I'm glad things are going well with the two of you.”
“Well, some of the craziness was because of him. He's had some business issues to work out. But it's settling down now and I had some free time today, so here I am.”
“I'm glad to see you. Would you like to come to the back?”
Normally when I come visit Gail here, she takes me to her office, that's what she means by 'the back.' But I couldn't do that then, not with Uncle Corey and Sydney waiting outside.
“Um, actually, I wanted to talk to you about something.”
“Oh?”
“Yeah. As you know, my cousin Sydney moved out here and got a job and everything, cause she wanted to be close to me.” Gail nodded. “Well, she finally convinced her dad to come out here too for a visit.”
“Oh. Did she? That's... that's really great. I'm sure he missed her.”
“He did, he wanted her to go home, but she talked him into the opposite. He's still here, he's met Tommy and my foster family. And now he wants to meet you.”
Gail took a step backwards. She looked.... shy? Scared? I couldn't tell.
“Oh.... oh no, I couldn't possibly. I'm not your family, I'm not-”
“You might as well be! I mean, I would have probably died with my mother if it wasn't for you. He knows that, he wants to shake your hand. Sydney probably wants to hug you, she's a hugger.”
I grinned. But Gail shook her head emphatically.
“I really don't think that's a good idea. I would feel out of place.”
“That's ridiculous. He asked me if there was anyone else important to me, and I said you. They're outside. Hang on.”
“Wait, Kandis.... please....”
I paid Gail no mind, she always did think she didn't do anything special when she got the cops involved, but to me? It was everything. Literally my life. I waved at Uncle Corey and Sydney to get out of the car and come in. They do, and I hold the door open for them. Gail was still standing there, when I think back about it I wonder why she didn't just leave the lobby, go back into her back office. Maybe she'd decided that it would have been pointless and this would have happened anyway. But at that point I thought she had just given in to my insisting. Uncle Corey and Sydney walked in, and I came back in behind them.
“Okay, this wonderful woman here is Gail McCarthy, she found me as a baby. Gail, this is my cousin Sydney and Uncle-”
“Corey....?”
I gave Gail a look, her tone didn't sound like she was guessing who he was based on what I'd told her. It sounded more like shock, like she knew him and was surprised to see him. But that had to be impossible. Uncle Corey looked Gail up and down. He then glanced at me, then back at her.
“Ca.... Carla....?!”
Sydney's hands flew to her face. Me? I didn't get it. I turned to Gail. She was crying. I looked back at Corey. He was staring at Gail as if he couldn't believe what was in front of him. He called her Carla. I looked back at her, and the thought that came to mind was how I felt every time she hugged me. The very first time I met her I remembered leaving thinking it was almost maternal....
“Wait. What the fuck is going on here?”
Gail turned to me, wiping her eyes. “I'm sorry. I lied to you. I lied to everyone, for so long...”
I stepped back. “You're not Gail....” She shook her head no. It was starting to become clear in my head. “Is Gail dead....?” She nodded. “So you're.... you're.... her?” She nodded again.
“Oh my God....” Sydney's voice was muffled from behind her hands.
I started shaking my head. No. This was not fucking happening! “Okay. Fuck this.”
I turned to leave. Sydney grabbed my arm. “Kandis, wait, she-”
“No. NO!”
I pulled my arm free and stormed out. I practically ran to my car, jumped in, and sped off. I was halfway up the highway to Santa Barbara when I realized... I'd left Corey and Sydney stranded at the shelter, they'd ridden with me there. Oh well. Sydney could call an Uber. I didn't stop to think about that, or anything, I had to get out of there. Out of their sight, that building, the fucking city. I couldn't deal.
My mother isn't dead.
* * * * *
I barely remember the drive back home. But I didn't want to go home. Tommy wasn't there. I had turned my phone off because they wouldn't stop calling me. I pulled up at Ante Up and left my phone in the car as I went in. I breezed past the people who were working out, ignored one of the staff who I was on good terms with who waved at me, and went straight up the stairs to Tommy's office. I don't know why I assumed he would be there, but when I flung the door open, I realized he wasn't.
“Fuck!”
I went back downstairs, and Jamison, an Academy student I'd known since before things went to shit stopped me. “Kandis? Is everything okay?”
“I... yeah. I just need to talk to Tommy. Do you know where he is?”
“Nah, sorry. Ashley might though, he just got here a few minutes ago.” Jamison pointed towards the weights. He was prepping for a set of some sort.
“Thanks.”
I'm amazed I had the presence of mind to thank the guy before walking off. I walked up to Ashley, he gave me a smile but it faded once he saw the look on my face.
“Hey... you alright?”
“Do you know where Tommy is?”
“Pretty sure he has some sorta business meeting, I think it's about this place. Maybe the new co-owner? Not sure, he didn't really say. Just told me it'd prob'ly take all day.”
“Great. Just fucking great.... I hate this fucking shit!” I threw a kick at the weight bench. The seat moved a few inches and clanged as it fell back to the bench.
“Err.... did sommat happen with you two?”
“No... nothing like that. I just needed to talk to him. Kicking and punching things will have to do. Feel like holding kick pads for me?”
“With how pissed you look? Not really, if I'm honest...” Ashley looked a little afraid of me.
“Fine.”
I turned and walked over to the nearest hanging heavy bag. I stared at it a few seconds, then screamed and kicked the shit out of it with a roundhouse. It swung back and I kicked again, a straight kick. The bag spun and swung back at me again. I spun and hit a spinning heel kick. It swung almost all the way, nearly horizontal. Ashley ran over and got between it and me, catching it. I would have let it hit me. He steadied the bag then turned to me.
“What th'ell is wrong with you? That bag were about to knock ya on yer arse!”
“That was my plan.”
“Alrite, sommat ain't right with you, Ah think maybe you shouldn't be here. Yer just gonna end up hurtin' yerself.”
“Are you trying to kick me out of here?” Last I checked, he was the student, and I was on staff. Sorta.
“Not like that. Ah just think maybe we should leave.”
“Oh, we?”
“Yeah. Seems like you could use some company. A friend. Sommat.”
I thought about it a few seconds. He was probably right, this was no place for me in my mood.
“Okay. But only if we're gonna go get drinks. If I can't beat shit up, I'm gonna get fucked up.”
“It's three in the afternoon...”
“So?”
Ashley shrugged. “Fair enough. Alright, drinks it is.”
Without saying much else, we left, Ashley offered to drive, which was probably for the best, so we got into his car. After driving about five minutes, he spoke up.
“So, I've got an idea. Rather than going to some bar or club, is it okay with you if we just go back to mine? Y'know, avoid getting ya seen in a state?”
“As long as you have tequila, I don't care.”
“Lucky for you, Ah do.” He grinned, and took a turn.
I'd only been to his place once, the morning Tommy and me picked him up to come with us for Rise to Greatness. I'd never been inside though. About ten minutes later Ashley parked in behind the building his apartment is in. It's a four story building, but his place is on the ground floor. We went in, and as I sat on the couch I realized I'd left my phone in my car, parked at Ante Up. Oh well, I had turned it off, it was just as well. I didn't plan on calling anyone anyway. Ashley made some drinks in the kitchen then came to the living room and handed me one before sitting next to me on the couch. Margarita on the rocks. I took a sip and smirked.
“I didn't know you knew how to make this.”
“Ah mighta picked up a few things hanging around the club. How is it?”
“Really good. Exactly what I needed. I can tell you added an extra shot.”
“Thought ya might appreciate that.”
“I do.” I took another sip, this one larger. I hoped he had enough tequila and mixer for about four more of these.
“So err.... are ya gonna tell me what's wrong then?”
“You know... I really don't want to talk about it.” I downed about half my drink. Fuck, it was good. Ashley nodded, he seemed disappointed. I'm not sure he would have understood anyway. Maybe someone more normal would have thought what I'd just learned was a good thing, they regained something they thought was lost. But me? I just felt unwanted. This woman literally became someone else just to be rid of me. I finished the drink, and stared into the ice left in the glass.
“Can I ask you something?”
“O'course.”
“Have you ever had something come up or happen that completely undid, or totally changed everything you thought you knew about your life, or yourself?”
“Can't say that Ah have. Upended everything, sure. But not like that.”
I shook my head. “Then you wouldn't understand even if I told you.” I rattled the ice in my glass. Ashley finished his, then got up, taking my glass with me. I sat there staring at the floor until he came back with fresh drinks. He say back down, and handed me mine.
“Y'know, after trainin' together for a while now, and other recent happenin's.... I'd like to think that we were friends.”
“We are. You think I'd have up and left with just anyone?” He gave me a slightly sideways look. “Actually, don't answer that. But of course we're friends. I thought I made that clear a while ago.”
“Y'did. Ah wanted t'remind ya about it. Ah know you got Tommy and yer cousin, and whatever other friends o'yers Ah don't know about. But whatever is going on, if there's anything Ah can do t'help, ya got me, too.”
I looked up from my drink, and saw the sincerity behind his words. Something clicked in my head, the only way I knew how to make myself feel like me, like a person worth anything at all. Like I had some kind of control. “You really want to help me?” Ashley nodded. “Okay. Then distract me. Relax me....” I smirked over my glass as I drank.
“Erm, not sure what you mean by that...”
“Alright, look. You can quit the innocent, or naive, or whatever this is, act, okay? You know exactly what I mean. You practically asked me for it a week ago. So let's not dance around it anymore, okay? You want to fuck me again, I know it.”
He swallowed his drink hard, and stared at me. “Ah dunno what you thought Ah meant but-”
“Stop it. I know better. I've seen that look you gave me on dozens of men's faces. It's the look you've been giving me ever since we fucked the first time weeks ago. You might be able to fool anyone else with that naive act but you don't fool me at all. I don't know a lot about a lot of things, but believe me, I know when a man wants to fuck me. So quit playing around, admit it.... and then do it.”
“So we're just pretendin' Tommy doesn't exist?”
I smirked. “If he wasn't a problem before, why would he be one now? The fact you asked me that means I'm right. Right?”
I could see the front he'd been trying to hold up drop. The look in his eyes changed.
“Okay. Yeah. You're right. Ah do want you.”
“Now we're getting somewhere.” I finished my drink, and rattled my ice again. Ashley finished his, but didn't get up to get more.
“Maybe, maybe not. Yer in a mood, ya won't tell me what's wrong, yer drinkin....”
“And I'm a full grown woman who knows what I'm doing.” I rattled my ice again, more insistent. Ashley took the hint and got up to refill. He came back with just straight tequila over ice.
“Out of mix.”
“Not a problem.” I had a healthy sip, this wasn't bottom-shelf stuff, it went down smooth. I licked my lips, as I set my glass down. I knew he was watching. He drank too, then set his glass down and looked at me, uncertain.
“Distract you, eh?” I nodded. He glanced at the glasses half full of tequila on the coffee table.
“Stop trying to be the good guy, Ash. We both know we both want it.”
With a suddenness that honestly surprised me, he leaned over and grabbed my face and kissed me, hard. There was nothing hesitant or slow like the last time. I guess the man just needed to be told it was okay. I leaned into it, kissing him back like it was keeping me alive. Maybe it was. I felt wanted, and that's what I needed to keep myself from completely losing my shit. I pushed that thought away, and pushed him back, before straddling him on the couch, like I had done at my old apartment, never breaking mouth contact. We only stopped long enough to be able to pull our tops off, then his hands went down my sides to my ass. Mine were all over, up and down his side, abs, everything. I got on my knees to make room to get his shorts and my leggings off, then I sat back down. All I had left on was my bra, but that soon went flying overhead too, I'm pretty sure it was removed by tearing the front and not actually unfastening the back. I didn't care. I rose up a bit, his hands still on my ass, and gave my hips a little twerk, sliding him inside me. Immediately I rode back and forth, fast, almost frantic. Rough. He didn't seem to mind, he gripped my ass hard. He had no way of knowing but it was just how I like it. Through grunts and moans, he pulled me back down just as hard as I was rocking, helping me keep the rhythm. At that point it didn't matter to me who's cock it was inside me, just that they wanted it, wanted me. We both yelled in satisfaction as we finished at almost the same time. After, I leaned over on him, resting my head on his shoulder. He left his hands on my ass while we caught our breath. I felt him slip out of me. It took a minute for me to move. When I did, I just sat on the couch next to him. I grabbed my drink and leaned back.
“Fuck....”
“Yeah, fuck.” I drained the rest of my tequila, which was probably a good two shots worth. Ashley took the glass from my hand and set it down.
“You alright?”
“Never better.” I leaned my head back and closed my eyes. I heard him get up, and opened my eyes again to see what he was doing. I watched him pull his shorts back on, then bring the glasses to the kitchen. I closed my eyes again. I felt him sit back down next to me. And then I fell asleep, probably cause of the liquor.
What turned out to be some time later, I woke up. I was laying on the couch with my head on a pillow and my feet resting on the other arm. There was a throw blanket over me. I was still naked. Ashley was walking around the living room on the phone. He had his back to me so he didn't see I had woken up. I assume his phone ringing did it.
“Calm down, mate, what? ….. Oh. Yeah. Yeah, she's here with me.... my place.... she's fine. I mean, she were right pissed earlier, Ah dunno why.... oh, calmed down now, she's sleeping on the couch.... erm, I'm not sure you really want me to answer that.... alright, see ya soon.”
I watched him end the call, then sat up, holding the blanket over my chest. I wasn't totally sober but I also had enough mental clarity to not want to have a conversation with my tits out. Ashley must have heard me moving, as he spun around, surprised.
“You're up.”
“Yeah.”
“So Ah guess you heard that then?”
I nodded. “Was it Tommy?”
“Yeah. He's on his way here. Why dint you tell me you turned yer phone off?”
“I don't know.... I forgot? Shit! It's in my car at the gym!”
“Yeah, he said. He's got it.”
I nodded again. I remembered the last time Tommy couldn't find me, I had spent the night with Drake, and when Tommy found out, he lost it. I didn't think that was gonna happen again, not exactly the same way, but I couldn't imagine he was in a good mood after not being able to contact me for hours. Ashley picked up my clothes from the floor and handed them to me.
“Ya might want to, uh...”
“Yeah. Thanks.”
He went into the kitchen. I got dressed, I had been wrong about the bra, it wasn't torn, which meant I could actually put it back on. I was siting down pulling my shoes on when Ashley came back in. He'd put his shirt back on too, and handed me a water bottle.
“Thanks.”
I opened it to have some, and then there was a knock on the door. It sounded impatient. Ashley opened it and Tommy walked in. I could see the worry turn into relief.
“Kandis...”
He came over and sat next to me, and I hugged him. “I'm sorry.... I didn't mean to just disappear.”
He pulled away and looked at me, concerned. “What the fuck happened? I tried to call you, your phone's off. I went to Ante Up thinking you might be there, and just found your car with your phone. A student told me you left with Ashley, what's going on?”
“I turned my phone off because it wouldn't stop ringing. I didn't want to talk to Sydney or Corey or... or Gail.”
“Why not? What happened?”
I sighed hard. I knew that saying it out loud would make it true, and I had tried to avoid that all day. But I couldn't lie or keep things from Tommy. “I took Sydney and Corey to meet Gail McCarthy.” He nodded, he knows who she is. “Turns out, Gail isn't Gail. Gail is actually the dead woman. She's Carla.”
Tommy did a double take, blinking in surprise. “Wait, Carla, your mother?”
“Yeah. She apparently faked her death and abandoned me. Why does everyone fucking abandon me?!”
I started crying, which I hate to do, but I couldn't stop myself. Tommy grabbed me and pulled me back into a hug, this one tight. I heard Ashley behind me quietly say “Shite....” Despite the fact I was sitting in his apartment I had forgotten he was there.
“Hey, that's not true, okay? You got me, I'm not leaving, not ever.”
I nodded against his shoulder, trying to get control over myself. I hate crying! It's weak. I'm supposed to be stronger than that. “I swear to fuck, you're the only thing in my life that makes any sense.” Thinking back, that's not entirely true. The Williamsons never betrayed me. They took care of me. But I wasn't thinking clear at the moment. Tommy and I hugged a few more moments, then he pulled back again, looking at me.
“You want to go home?” I nodded. “Okay. We'll worry about your car tomorrow.”
“But my phone...”
“I have it.” Oh right. Ashley had told me so and I forgot that quick. We'd given each other spare keys to our cars when I moved in. Tommy pulled my phone out of his pocket and handed it to me. It was still off. I just stared at it. I was afraid to turn it on. Tommy looked up at Ashley, who had been standing nearby the whole time.
“Thanks for taking care of her, brosef. Whatever you did... I appreciate it.” I saw Ashley glance at me nervously. “Yeah, I know. It's fine, we're good.”
Ashley nodded, and relaxed a little, I saw his shoulders drop a bit. “Alright.”
Tommy got up, they shook hands – I thought that was weird, but maybe it's some kind of bro code thing – and then we left. The drive back to Tommy's house was silent.
Tommy pulled into the driveway and parked. We just sat there a moment.
“Do you have any idea why?”
“What?”
“Gail. Or whoever she is. Why she lied?”
“I don't know. I ran out of there as soon as I figured it out and she admitted it.”
“She owes you an explanation.”
“I'm not sure I care to hear it. It's enough that my entire life has been a lie. All of it. I was never really an orphan, I was just a fucking burden my mother didn't want because my father was a rapist.”
“Wait, what?”
“You didn't remember that part?”
“I don't think you told me, I would have remembered that.”
I thought I had... or maybe that was Ryan. “Oh. Well, yeah. When I first met Gail a year or so ago, I asked her if she knew my father. She said no, and that my mother didn't either, he was just someone on the streets who raped her.”
“Fucking Christ....”
“I don't get it though. Why would she tell me that and not just tell me who she was? Why would she give me information to find Corey? It doesn't make sense!”
“You should ask her.”
“Why? So she can lie some more? I don't want to talk to her. I've gone my whole life without her, I don't need her now.”
“Maybe not, but she owes you answers.”
“Can we just forget about this for the rest of the night? I want to go in and lay down and forget about everything from today. We don't need this shit, babe, we have to focus on SCW.”
“That's hardly important right now, you are.”
“And I want you to focus on getting what you deserve, okay? Don't worry about me, worry about beating that bitch. I knew you never should have tried to make some deal with her.”
“She wants what she wants, I'm not gonna blame her for that, I want what I want, too. The deal was fine as long David was in play, now he's not. I get it. No one needs to play nice anymore.”
“But-”
“Stop. Enough about that. And don't even try to talk to me about the chamber. You need to take care of yourself before you worry about that. You said you wanted to go lay down, right? Let's go in, you get upstairs, I'll bring you something to eat. Sound good?”
I sighed. I hate it when he's right. I knew I was trying to deflect. It's what I do best, pretend hard shit doesn't exist. “Okay.”
We went inside, and I went upstairs. It wasn't that late, the sun had just set, but I felt like the day had already been about thirty hours. I changed into some shorts and a t-shirt and laid down. A little while later, Tommy brought me a ham and cheese sandwich with a few pickle spears. He left me to eat and rest. After eating, I laid back in bed, and decided to turn my phone on. I let it boot, and let all the dings and buzzes play as the texts and missed calls came up. I had about a dozen of each, most from Sydney, a few from Corey and Gail, and a few missed calls from Tommy. I ignored all of them except Gail's. She'd texted too, just once. All it said was “I'm sorry, please let me explain.” I didn't bother to listen to the voicemails, I just deleted them unheard. I stared at Gail's text. I scoffed at myself for still calling her Gail in my head when I knew the truth now. Maybe Tommy was right. She did owe me. I tapped over to Sydney's 17 texts – not an exaggeration – and replied that I was fine and we'd talk the next day. I then tapped back over to Gail's name. I made myself tap the call icon before I changed my mind. She answered almost immediately.
“Kandis??”
“Yeah.”
“Oh thank God you're okay. We were so worried.”
“I was with a friend. Look, this is probably gonna end up being a bad idea, but I think we should talk.”
“I would like that.”
We agreed to meet in a few days. I wasn't sure if I would actually show up. What does one say to a mother who you'd been told your whole life was dead?